I Know A Place

One of the things I find interesting about living on Long Island is how people relate to the place. It is usually sited as a location. For instance, during the Presidential Debates, reporters on location would sign-out by saying "For Rockhead Press, this is Barney Rubble from Long Island." They were not in Hempstead, NY or even Hofstra University (Ok, granted, you would have to be from Long Island or follow La Crosse to have any idea where Hofstra University is anyway.)

The point is, however, most people in the rest of the country answer with the name of their town or the nearest city or even their State when answering the question, "Where are you from?". Ask a traveler from Shorewood or even Racine where they are from and a likely answer would be "near-Milwaukee" or "Wisconsin". Ask a traveler from Calverton, New York where they are from and the likely answer will be "Long Island"; not "New York" or even "near-New York City". "Long Island" takes on that name.

(Of course, New York City, poses yet another exception to that rule. Natives are rarely from New York City. They are from Queens, Manhattan, The Bronx (mind you, not Bronx, but "The Bronx" but that's yet a different story) or Staten Island.

There are very few places I can think of that become a "I'm from here" location. I guess someone could say they are from "Napa Valley"; but no one claims, in my experience anyway, to be from "The Rockies", "The Poconos" or "The Bad Lands". "The U.P." is very locally used. I have experimented with that little colloquialism while out here. No one out here has any idea what a Yuppie is except maybe the sound a 5 year old makes on their first pony ride.

For some reason, "Long Island" resonates with people. It is that place that is not New York City, or any of the eastern sea-board cities for that matter. It is the location for Great Gatsby. Thomas Fairchild drove Linus Larabee to Long Island in Sabrina. Steve Vai, Joe Satriani and Billy Joel all hail from Long Island. Once ago, it was mostly farms, farm towns and fishing towns. Now, all but the eastern 40 miles is one long suburb. The Wikipedia article makes the point perfectly though. It categorizes Long Island like it was a state with breakdowns in demographics, economy, education, etc.

Tell a New Yorker you are from "Long Island" and they get a far-away look and usually tell you how lucky you are to live "out there".

Well, from Long Island, this is CmentMixer. And, yes, I am lucky to live "out there".

Title by: Bob Marley

These Days

As I mentioned before, I have been to see the doctor. I try to see the doctor once a year as a matter of safety. Besides, it comforts me that, if I were in the hospital, the 2 professionals I would want most at my bedside should know me by my first name, my pastor and my doctor. It is also time for my twice a decade date with that misguided camera known as a colonoscope.

On a Friday morning, I mosey in. Nice office staff, I write my autobiography on their forms. After a short wait, a friendly nurse takes blood pressure, temperature, weight, height, blood, urine. The door no sooner latches when in walks a very approachable and seemingly competent doctor. He pokes and prods and asks many questions, family history and personal medical history. It is a great first impression.

"We will call if there is anything irregular with the tests."

They called on Wednesday.

The message, "Please have Scott call us as soon as possible."

I called when I get home from work around 5:30.

"The doctor is not comfortable discussing this matter with you over the phone. Please come in as soon as possible."

I think we have all either personally gone through or heard first hand of these calls. If not, here is what happened before I could even stop to think straight. My stomach dropped. My normally optimistic outlook was short-circuited by my "worst case scenario" instinct. My mind raced…High-blood-pressure-blood-sugar-issues-white-blood-cell-count-cancer-my-goodness-what-type-of-cancer-what-did-they-find-out-the-life-insurance-is-paid-the-family-is-1200-miles-from-our-traditional-support-group-I-feel-fine-I-am-active-breathe-breathe-breathe.

"Ok, is there an opening tonight? … Yes? At 7? Great, we will be there at 7."

"Ma chere, clear the calendar, we are going for a car ride. T1, you are in charge."

At the appointed hour (15 minutes early), the nurse escorts us into the examining room. She takes my blood-pressure and lets us know that the doctor will be right in. And, he was.

He looked at ma chere strangely and then at me almost questioningly. He handed me a sheaf of papers and started to take my blood-pressure again. I exhaled loudly and visibly relaxed. Page 1 read, "High Cholesterol Diet – Foods to Avoid". Page 2 read, "High Cholesterol Diet – Foods to Seek".

"So, Doc, not to minimize this, but we are here just to talk about my high cholesterol?"

"Yes, you didn't already know this."

I ran through the conversation with the receptionist earlier in the evening.

He blanched, "I guess we really do not need to recheck your blood pressure. I can pretty much guess why it is off. She SHOULD have told you it was your cholesterol and asked you to make an appointment."

We talked living with high cholesterol for 15 minutes or so. It was a bit of a blur.

Ma chere and I laughed, nervously, all the way to Walgreens to fill in the prescription for Crestor.

Bad form, bad bad form. Bad form, indeed!

Title by: Tanya Donelly

Call the Doctor

We have also been working our way around to getting new doctors. We picked one that is close to the house in the Spring. Unfortunately, he is rarely there. His Physician Assistants take most of his appointments; and if you want to see him, he is in the office on Tuesday evenings from 6 PM to 8 PM. Crazy, I know.

Ma chere did find a new doctor a couple of weeks ago. T2's little accident (he is on the mend, thank you all for the well wishes) forced us into picking a doctor sooner rather than later. Some complications after his first week meant we had to have a primary care referral in order to have insurance coverage for the additional work. I understand the sense behind a "gated policy" where all specialist work must be referred. I strongly dislike it when I get stuck on the wrong side of the gate.

In any case, we now have a very nice physician that I have seen personally twice in as many weeks. Not bad, considering that after 6 months I could not even tell you who the other guy was and that after being in the office 5 or 6 times with the Ts.

Title by: JJ Cale

Leave the Driving

There are still a few things that ma chere and I have procrastinated doing with regards to the move to Long Island. For instance, we still have our old vehicle tags and licenses.

The vehicle stuff is a matter of waiting for our existing insurance to expire and picking up new coverage in New York. Because we still have our condo (Yes, it is true.), we need to maintain insurance on it. It is easier to wait for the end of our coverage year with our current provider and just cancel the vehicle portion of the coverage than try to shop for a new condo policy. I already have the new coverage on the van; now, we are waiting for the end of this week to make the changes to our Wisconsin policy.

We will work on getting our licenses and tags switched over this week as well. Other than the house, that will be the last of the Wisconsin to-do list. Anyone want a condo?

Title by: Neil Young

Burning Down The House

Here is some advice born of experience. If it looks like the pilot
light for the broiler is out, ventilate the space before relighting
or keep your face away from the opening when relighting.

Broiler 1 - Hair & Eyebrows 0

Not to worry, no burns, just singed hair. Man, it stinks!

Title by: The Talking Heads