Hit the Road Jack

Hello, my friends, it has been a long time. Several of you have asked me to start posting again. Unfortunately, today's post will be a sad one.
I have always considered myself blessed because I have 2 best friends, Charles Sheperd and Eric Steingraeber. I have only once had to pick one ahead of the other and that was for Best Man at my wedding, Eric. I wished I could have named them both. Charles made up for it by introducing himself as the lover I left to marry ma chere.
To be sure, our relationship never went THAT far. But I can assure you, I loved him deeply. Chuck and I met at UW-Milwaukee. We were both in our first freshman year. Since we lived relatively close to each other, Chuck would give me rides to and from school. We would race down Capital Drive in the far right lane or later, for reasoning only Chuck could comprehend, through rush hour traffic downtown. "The traffic is better on the expressway," he would reason." It only comes at you from ahead and behind."
Those years would include early morning racquetball sessions and late nights on North Ave, Water Street and the 3rd Ward. Six foot five is very easy to find in a bar. "Never leave your wingman." Though, he made a great target on the racquetball court. Oi, the welts on his back and legs. Not to worry, he knew how to serve them back as well.
We were two more 2nd Floor Lounge rats majoring in Time Mismanagement and Space Occupation.
"It is better to be pissed off than pissed on...just ask Chuck."
The Road Runner Biff party.
11 PM Chicago road trips from RCs.
10 PM Burrito runs to Madison.
"Gurgles and Slash" at Summerfest. Sting, Bruce Hornsby, Indigo Girls, Kenny Loggins, Muddy Waters, Beach Boys, Pat McCurdy "Sex & Beer", Comedy Sportz.
Dancing at Park Avenue.
Smurfs at Arts.
Rumpleminz...well anywhere.
"Kindly remove the dart from my thigh."
Wild Turkey Night - 5 bars, 22 years, countless bottles of Wild Turkey and the best friends time can manage.
Chuck helped me get my driver's license. We sped from UW to the old Fond du Lac Driver's Center in 15 minutes laughing the whole time at the great irony. That same car went airborne over the tracks in Waukesha with Chuck at the wheel and me hanging on for dear life.
The Tercel, "starts with 'T', ends in 'LOVE'."
It was that car that started the challenge of the Bolero. Chuck wanted to prove that we could make it from UW to his house in one playing of the Bolero, 15 minutes and 40 seconds. He eventually pulled it off. We later insisted that one can get anywhere in Milwaukee in one Bolero. Try it!
Chuck was with me when ma chere and I started "going out".
I was with Chuck the day his mother died.
Chuck was with me on my wedding day.
Chuck and his father opened their home to me so I could finish college while ma chere and T1 remained with her parents. Their graciousness allowed me to get my degree and keep an impossible UPS work schedule.
I was with Chuck the day he met his beautiful wife. We both had a good feeling about her. I am so glad for their blessed union. I was honored to be in their wedding party.
God gave me the privilege of having Chuck in my life. My life is so much richer because of him. Charles died today, on Father's Day. He was playing with his precious daughters when he passed out from a blood clot in his lungs. He never fully recovered.
Rest in peace, Chuck, you will be missed.

Quand On n'A Que L'Amour

Wow, it has been a month. Sorry about that. The holidays just flew by this year.

Here is a recap, briefly I promise, of the past few weeks.

Van broke - $3000

Thanksgiving – Philadelphia with ma chere, the Ts and my sister and some charming friends

Christmas – Washington, DC with ma chere, the Ts, my sister and some charming friends

Vacation – R&R in Washington, DC and Baiting Hollow

New Year's – Baiting Hollow

For those that like the "Webster's Unabridged", here is the filler.

A couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, the transmission on our van stopped working. By "stopped working", I mean one second we are doing 55 on Sound Avenue heading for Greeenport and the next we are coasting to a stop with no power from the engine reaching the wheels. Thankfully, we have some fantastic friends that live not too far from where we were stranded. Their eldest son gave ma Chere and T3 a ride back to our house while I waited for the tow from AAA.

In the course of one of my conversations with AAA over the fact that the tow was 45 minutes late, I was called a "dumb-ass" by one of the Wisconsin representatives. I kid you not, she said, "DUMB ASS" as she put me on hold. Needless to say, I was livid, fit-to-be-tied, died in the wool ticked off. Of course, while AAA was somewhat apologetic, I never heard back from any of the supervisors that claimed they would get to the bottom of it. I guess in this economy, they can afford to give customers away.

Two weeks later and a few thousand dollars the van was back in our driveway.

Thanksgiving was spent with my sister in Philadelphia. She actually lives in Washington, DC but Phili is a good spot in between Washington, DC and Long Island, NY. We had a wonderfully prepared meal, compliments to my sister and ma chere. We spent some time at Reading Station on Friday before heading back to Long Island. There is a great food market there with good eats and great grocery deals.

The situation with the van put a damper on our Christmas preparations. We also decided that the trip back to Milwaukee would be too expensive and too hard on the new transmission. Ma chere made the most of it by setting out the decorations earlier than we normally set them out. The house looks very nice all dressed up for the holidays. Next year, I will try my hand at outdoor decorations.

I had my 5 year colonoscopy the Monday before Christmas. The preparation for that is always worse than the actual procedure. However, having to wait an additional 2 hours because the doctor was behind schedule almost constitutes cruel and unusual punishment. The good news is everything came back clean and clear. And, I will not have to worry about it again until 2013. T1 will be a senior at that point, a camera up my backside might seem like a vacation then.

We enjoyed a nice service at church on Christmas Eve. I had the pleasure and honor of doing the Old Testament and Epistle readings for the candle service.

After the kids came downstairs on Christmas Day, we ate a quick breakfast and headed down the Washington, DC. It is about 320 miles from our place to my sister's. It takes about 6 hours. We celebrated Christmas dinner near Bethesda with a charming couple and their children. They are friends of my sister's from the first time she lived in DC. The rest of the weekend was spent in tourist mode. We spent time at the Museum of the American Indian, Arlington Cemetery, the National Zoo and Annapolis. We got back to Baiting Hollow Sunday afternoon and did leave until Tuesday morning.

A winter storm hit the east coast on Tuesday during the day. By Midwest standards, it was relatively small except that the temperature dropped from 35 to 20 while it was still snowing. The roads were all covered with black ice. The New Year's party was cancelled, leaving ma chere, Ts 2 & 3 and I with a cheese and sausage platter and chocolate mousse for 16. We found a way to survive until Midnight.

We passed the rest of the week with a run into Manhattan to visit the American Museum of Natural History on Friday. It was a nice way for ma chere and I to pass our 16th anniversary. Saturday was T3's 7th birthday. We moved all the furniture around in the living room, set it up "theater-style" and watched movies with an obcene amount of hors d'ourves.

And that, as they say, was the month in round up. Pretty generic stuff really. Just living the middle-class dream.

Title by: Jacques Brel

These Days

As I mentioned before, I have been to see the doctor. I try to see the doctor once a year as a matter of safety. Besides, it comforts me that, if I were in the hospital, the 2 professionals I would want most at my bedside should know me by my first name, my pastor and my doctor. It is also time for my twice a decade date with that misguided camera known as a colonoscope.

On a Friday morning, I mosey in. Nice office staff, I write my autobiography on their forms. After a short wait, a friendly nurse takes blood pressure, temperature, weight, height, blood, urine. The door no sooner latches when in walks a very approachable and seemingly competent doctor. He pokes and prods and asks many questions, family history and personal medical history. It is a great first impression.

"We will call if there is anything irregular with the tests."

They called on Wednesday.

The message, "Please have Scott call us as soon as possible."

I called when I get home from work around 5:30.

"The doctor is not comfortable discussing this matter with you over the phone. Please come in as soon as possible."

I think we have all either personally gone through or heard first hand of these calls. If not, here is what happened before I could even stop to think straight. My stomach dropped. My normally optimistic outlook was short-circuited by my "worst case scenario" instinct. My mind raced…High-blood-pressure-blood-sugar-issues-white-blood-cell-count-cancer-my-goodness-what-type-of-cancer-what-did-they-find-out-the-life-insurance-is-paid-the-family-is-1200-miles-from-our-traditional-support-group-I-feel-fine-I-am-active-breathe-breathe-breathe.

"Ok, is there an opening tonight? … Yes? At 7? Great, we will be there at 7."

"Ma chere, clear the calendar, we are going for a car ride. T1, you are in charge."

At the appointed hour (15 minutes early), the nurse escorts us into the examining room. She takes my blood-pressure and lets us know that the doctor will be right in. And, he was.

He looked at ma chere strangely and then at me almost questioningly. He handed me a sheaf of papers and started to take my blood-pressure again. I exhaled loudly and visibly relaxed. Page 1 read, "High Cholesterol Diet – Foods to Avoid". Page 2 read, "High Cholesterol Diet – Foods to Seek".

"So, Doc, not to minimize this, but we are here just to talk about my high cholesterol?"

"Yes, you didn't already know this."

I ran through the conversation with the receptionist earlier in the evening.

He blanched, "I guess we really do not need to recheck your blood pressure. I can pretty much guess why it is off. She SHOULD have told you it was your cholesterol and asked you to make an appointment."

We talked living with high cholesterol for 15 minutes or so. It was a bit of a blur.

Ma chere and I laughed, nervously, all the way to Walgreens to fill in the prescription for Crestor.

Bad form, bad bad form. Bad form, indeed!

Title by: Tanya Donelly

Call the Doctor

We have also been working our way around to getting new doctors. We picked one that is close to the house in the Spring. Unfortunately, he is rarely there. His Physician Assistants take most of his appointments; and if you want to see him, he is in the office on Tuesday evenings from 6 PM to 8 PM. Crazy, I know.

Ma chere did find a new doctor a couple of weeks ago. T2's little accident (he is on the mend, thank you all for the well wishes) forced us into picking a doctor sooner rather than later. Some complications after his first week meant we had to have a primary care referral in order to have insurance coverage for the additional work. I understand the sense behind a "gated policy" where all specialist work must be referred. I strongly dislike it when I get stuck on the wrong side of the gate.

In any case, we now have a very nice physician that I have seen personally twice in as many weeks. Not bad, considering that after 6 months I could not even tell you who the other guy was and that after being in the office 5 or 6 times with the Ts.

Title by: JJ Cale

Pride and Joy

It has been a busy few weeks. Sorry for the lapse. Ma chere and the Ts are all safely back on Long Island. I flew out to Milwaukee a few Fridays ago; spent the night out with family; golfed 18 at Greenfield (119 - not bad for no golf for a year and using my sister-in-law's clubs); had a late lunch; napped and left Milwaukee for New York at 6:00 PM on Saturday. We pulled into our driveway at 11:30 AM Sunday. We stayed close to home on Sunday and Monday to recuperate from the drive.

The Ts started school just after Labor Day. T2 & T3 are in new schools from last year. T2 "graduated" to the 5th & 6th grade middle school. We moved T3 into the school affiliated with our church in Aquebogue. He needed to get back to what he was used to at Atonement.

All in all, it was good to get everyone home again.

Title by: Stevie Ray Vaughan

Spending the Day in the Shirt That You Wore

Ma chère and the Ts left last Sunday. They are back in Wisconsin for the summer. La plus jeune soeur de ma chère flew in last week to help with the drive back. They got in early Monday morning.

It feels like they just got out here and now they are gone again. I am not complaining...okay maybe just a bit. It will be another long 8 weeks without them around. I miss the noise when they get the dog all riled up, the giggling, the dog trying desperately to catch them...ah the sweet sounds of chaos. This will be the first summer since 1989 that I will not get Up North. I hope the Sound is a good surrogate. And, I always sleep so crappy without my partner. Her pillow still smells of her.

It is good for them. The Ts get a bit of their old routine and friends back, if only for a bit. Ma chère spent the last few days as a social butterfly catching up with friends and family in Milwaukee. They should be Up North by the 4th.

Title by: Poi Dog Pondering

I Know That My Redeemer Lives

It is easy to find a WELS congregation in Wisconsin. The choices are rather limited out east. As a matter of fact, there is only 1 WELS church, Grace of God, that services all of Long Island. Grace of God is located in Dix Hills at about the mid-point of the island. It is a small congregation with 60-70 members. People can come from as far away as Queens to the west (60 minutes) and Baiting Hollow to the east (45 minutes...guess who).

As a general rule, we attend church every Sunday; a day also held in priority as a family day. We have not always asked the Ts to attend Sunday school. The rationale was they get plenty of Christian education during the week compared to quality/quantity family time. Since they are no longer in private school, the balance was off. This is where the tension began. The Ts needed more "face time with their Maker".

We were spending 90 minutes round trip to Grace of God. Throw in the hour or so to get 5 people out the door on a Sunday morning plus Service time, the inevitable chat in the back of church and voilà the morning was gone. Now, don't get me wrong. I have no problem giving thanks to the Lord for his Grace and Forgiveness. But, the 90 minutes commute plus $20 in gas was not what He had in mind, I think.

On top of that, we were not satisfied. And again, I beg your indulgence for just a minute. We do understand that church is not like Starbucks. Our satisfaction is not guaranteed. We do not attend church to be told how wonderful we are. We do not attend church to be told what bounty will befall us because we showed up this week. On the other hand, there should be a sense of belonging that neither ma chère nor I felt.

It was with this on our hearts that we began looking for a new church. Our foreboding was the understanding that we would have to leave WELS to do it. Thankfully, the Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod (LCMS) has a relatively large foothold on Long Island.

I will spare you, at this point, the research into the differences between WELS and LCMS, the time spent in conversation with one another, both WELS and LCMS pastors, parents, relatives, etc. Ultimately, we made the decision to join Our Redeemer in Aquebogue, NY. I promise to post more on the transition later.

Title by: Samuel Medley

We All Believe in One True God

I, of course, did not had such a straight path to the church.

I grew up in a Catholic home. Though, my parents are more culturally Catholic than religious. I imagine this is very similar to the way some people are Jewish. The culture eventually takes precedent over the under-pinnings of the faith. This is, from a world view, not a bad thing. Their religion is just an inward thing.

I attended Catholic schools through my freshman year in high-school. I fell away from the church and from faith during college. I should be more clear; my rebellion was more an intellectual than a spiritual one. I needed to find a better way to embrace my faith than just blindly trusting my education. I found it in the writings of Soren Kierkegaard.

After attending church with ma cherè and then the Ts for so many years, I was confirmed into WELS a few years ago.

Title by: Martin Luther

A Mighty Fortress Is Our God

This is another one of those posts that has taken a few weeks to write. I've broken it up to make it shorter to read.

When we first started talking about the career change and the possibility of moving, we naturally had to consider schools and church. Ma chère was raised Lutheran and educated from kindergarten through high school in the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod (WELS) school system. The Ts were all baptized in WELS churches and have always been in a WELS schools, most recently Atonement Lutheran School in Milwaukee.

Title by: Martin Luther

Feels Like Home

We spent last Saturday afternoon in Times Square and Central Park. We drove in to Manhattan late Saturday morning and hooked up with ma chère's cousin, his wife and a couple friend of theirs on 57th & Madison. We bruised our way through the crowds down to Hard Rock and after lunch we walked passed the M&M Store for dessert and then up to Central Park to let the Ts blow off some much pent up steam. They had a blast on the huge rocks in the park and one of the many play areas. Then we walked back up to the van on the Upper East Side. You cannot believe the crowds on Madison Avenue and Time Square. It was an incredible sea of people.

We spent the rest of Memorial Day weekend mostly around the house. It has been a long time where we just hung out together. We got down to the beach on Sunday. The Ts braved the water while ma cherè and I laid out on a rock close to shore. Ma chère chatted with a woman whose vacation home is just down the street from our house.

It is not quite "home", yet. But, we are working on it. We all miss the connectedness of being in Milwaukee.

Title by: Randy Newman (Performed by Bonnie Raitt)

Little Things

The Ts are taking to Long Island life well. T1 went out for the Lacrosse team. He also went on a 4 day trip to Quebec City, Quebec with the French Club. T2 is starting to make friends. He has been frustrated because it is taking a bit longer to make connections than he expected. T3 is grooving along well enough. He shares his other brothers' frustration in making friends.

Four things about me that you may or may not have known in no particular order.

1. 4 jobs I have had in my life:
Water Ski Instructor - Deer Park Lodge, Package Truck Pre-loader - United Parcel Service, Usher/Doorman - UA Theaters at Northridge, On Air Personality - WXPR Rhinelander
2. 4 movies I've watched more than once:
Ground Hog Day, Star Wars (A New Hope), Steel Magnolias, Hudson Hawk
3. 4 places I have lived in my life:
Fort Campbell, KY, Winthrop Harbor, IL, Deerfield, IL, Saint Germain, WI
4. 4 TV Shows I watch:
Heroes, Myth Busters, Monk, CBS Morning Show
5. 4 places I have been:
Pearl Harbor, HI, USA; Bruges, Belgium; St. Peter's Cathedral, London, UK; Helen Keller's Tomb, National Cathedral, Washington D.C., USA
6. 4 people who e-mail me regularly:
Amy, Bill, Tirzah, Joe
7. 4 of my favorite foods:
Gumbo, Pho, Pod Thai, Yorkshire Pudding
8. 4 places I would rather be right now:
On the golf course, On a warm beach, On a deck at sunset, On John's boat in the middle of Alma with Alt Nation cranked to 11
9. 4 people I think will respond:
You guys hardly ever respond. To be fair, though, it took me 3 months to get around to it.
10. 4 things I am looking forward to this year:
Selling my townhouse, Turkey Shoot back in Milwaukee, Summer sunsets on the front porch, The WOP's graduation party

Someone did reply to my customer support issues at Symantec. I posted their response in the comments, if you are interested.

Title by: Lily Allen

Yes I Am

I've been brooding over this post for a couple of months. Well, a month anyway. I have probably already attested that this entire experience has been a test for everyone from the Ts to grandparents, friends, associates, etc.

However, I believe the person that was pushed the hardest was ma cherè. She was a single Mom for three-quarters of a year. She did it with a cool efficiency; however, not without harboring a level of resentment.

My half was perhaps the riskier side of the equation, lots of unknowns. Will the school be easy or hard? Will I get a job in the field with no experience? Where will I end up? What will the principals be like? Will I be able to handle the responsibilities, the hours, the staff, the contractors...? Some unknowns were exciting, most were the mundane things of everyday.

Ma cherè, on the other hand, had all the "heavy lifting". We knew what her day/nights/weekends would be like. It is the routine of a middle-class family. We thought we understood what she was in for. Unfortunately, we seriously underestimated what it would take for her to pull it off alone. Frankly, we underestimated both our roles.

Thank goodness we know how to communicate. It might not always be pretty. It certainly is painful, but the results make the trial worth it. I had to promise not to remind her "I do that for a living, you know." She let go of the thought that I was drinking Dom Perignon poolside every night. (Just on weekends...I swear).

Title by: Radiohead

Reunited

It has been a while, once again, between posts. I have been writing down ideas and thoughts; I just have been too busy to clean them up enough for posting. I am still too much of a stickler to just throw out unedited copy. That said, there will be some retro-active posts in the next few days as I clean out my archive of saved ideas.

If you missed the latest news, Ma cherè and the Ts are now living on Long Island. We took a lease on a house near what locals call the North Fork. The house is basically in the middle of farms and vineyards, but still only 5-10 "winter minutes" from the grocery stores and the ubiquitous "Big Box Row".

The house was mostly cleaned before the arrival. We spent the first few days on blow up mattresses and sitting on pillows. The furniture arrived last Monday. The Ts started school early last week. I've gotten over my first bout of bugs from the Ts. (I got sick every time I went home or they came East. Talk about "feeling the love". ;-))

More later.

Title by: Peaches & Herb

I'm on My Way

I couldn't say it any better than ma cherè.

At long last Moving day is here!!

We have set our moving day for February 19th

There are so many people to say goodbye to and so little time left. I would like to invite you and your families to an Open House on Sunday February 17th starting at noon. Please look for us in all the boxes and let us show our appreciation for all your support over the last months. We are truly blessed by everyone in our lives and will miss being geographically near you.

We will have chili on, the race on and some candles on a belated birthday cake for T3.

When: February 17

Time: Noon 'til

Title by: The Proclaimers

Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride

So, on Friday, I decided to grab the dilemma bull by the horns. We are pushing to have the family out here by the first weekend in February. The thought was we will sacrifice space or other comforts in order to get everyone back together. In addition, the school system here starts the Spring semester on February 4.

No, we have not sold the townhouse, yet. Yes, it will be expensive. However, if our family were a rubber band, we would be stretched just about to our limit.

Of course, nothing is every that easy. The average rent out here is $2,200 for a 3 or 4 bedroom house. Everyone asks for 1^st month, last month and security deposit. The renter also has to pay the broker fee, which is equal to one month's rent. That's $8,800 for those of you keeping track. I can tell you that after $15,000 for school and 4 months un or under employed, the well is rather dry; think Sahara. I have it on good confidence that, "Money is just money." But, it doesn't grow on trees either.

I spent the day today looking at rental properties. It is a mixed bag. There is a big place that would be very nice; they are asking $2,800. That puts us up to $10,800 due in 2 weeks. Oh, and probably no pets. "Ohana" means "family." "Family" means "no one gets left behind." There is another one that is not nearly as nice. It is currently under major renovations and might be ready the first week of February. Rent - $2,300. I'll keep looking, ignoring the fact that we do not have the $8,800 to move in.

We're back on the fence on this issue. I really want them out here as soon as possible. I just don't know how we can get past the costs of moving AND come up with a small fortune just to sign a lease.

Title from Lilo & Stitch

Prayer of the Children

May all our prayers be heard and accepted by God in the coming year. God's Blessings to you and your family in the New Year.

Title by: Kurt Bestor and performed by the Mormom Tabernacle Choir