The Adventure

One of the things we are learning about living east of New York City, but still in the shadow of the city, is dealing with the crowds. My line to the Ts is, "If even just 1% of the population has the same idea as we do, that means 80,000 are bound to be going where we want to be."

We have learned through trial and error that
You need to be at the movie theater at least 60 minutes before show time or earlier if it is a prime time or first weekend.
You cannot travel to, through nor around New York City and make "good time" between the hours of 7 AM – 10 AM and 3 PM – 8 PM, including weekends. (Even outside those times is questionable.) It takes 1 hour to get from one side of New York to the other traveling east to west or return on a very very good day.
Parking in Manhattan is an oxymoron.
The New Jersey Turnpike is either a shoot or a ladder. When it is moving, you better be ready to do 80 MPH. When it is clogged, you better have packed at least 1 extra meal.
The mass-media and reports are correct, New York City drivers are rude, loud and obnoxious. (I fit right in, hahaha.)
If you think Waukesha County is the only place where 10 MPH under the speed limit is the norm in the far left lane, remember that the country was mostly settled from East to West. They had to come from somewhere and ALL their relatives are still out here, every last slow poke Uncle, Aunt and cousin.

Title by: Angels & Airwaves

I Know A Place

One of the things I find interesting about living on Long Island is how people relate to the place. It is usually sited as a location. For instance, during the Presidential Debates, reporters on location would sign-out by saying "For Rockhead Press, this is Barney Rubble from Long Island." They were not in Hempstead, NY or even Hofstra University (Ok, granted, you would have to be from Long Island or follow La Crosse to have any idea where Hofstra University is anyway.)

The point is, however, most people in the rest of the country answer with the name of their town or the nearest city or even their State when answering the question, "Where are you from?". Ask a traveler from Shorewood or even Racine where they are from and a likely answer would be "near-Milwaukee" or "Wisconsin". Ask a traveler from Calverton, New York where they are from and the likely answer will be "Long Island"; not "New York" or even "near-New York City". "Long Island" takes on that name.

(Of course, New York City, poses yet another exception to that rule. Natives are rarely from New York City. They are from Queens, Manhattan, The Bronx (mind you, not Bronx, but "The Bronx" but that's yet a different story) or Staten Island.

There are very few places I can think of that become a "I'm from here" location. I guess someone could say they are from "Napa Valley"; but no one claims, in my experience anyway, to be from "The Rockies", "The Poconos" or "The Bad Lands". "The U.P." is very locally used. I have experimented with that little colloquialism while out here. No one out here has any idea what a Yuppie is except maybe the sound a 5 year old makes on their first pony ride.

For some reason, "Long Island" resonates with people. It is that place that is not New York City, or any of the eastern sea-board cities for that matter. It is the location for Great Gatsby. Thomas Fairchild drove Linus Larabee to Long Island in Sabrina. Steve Vai, Joe Satriani and Billy Joel all hail from Long Island. Once ago, it was mostly farms, farm towns and fishing towns. Now, all but the eastern 40 miles is one long suburb. The Wikipedia article makes the point perfectly though. It categorizes Long Island like it was a state with breakdowns in demographics, economy, education, etc.

Tell a New Yorker you are from "Long Island" and they get a far-away look and usually tell you how lucky you are to live "out there".

Well, from Long Island, this is CmentMixer. And, yes, I am lucky to live "out there".

Title by: Bob Marley

These Days

As I mentioned before, I have been to see the doctor. I try to see the doctor once a year as a matter of safety. Besides, it comforts me that, if I were in the hospital, the 2 professionals I would want most at my bedside should know me by my first name, my pastor and my doctor. It is also time for my twice a decade date with that misguided camera known as a colonoscope.

On a Friday morning, I mosey in. Nice office staff, I write my autobiography on their forms. After a short wait, a friendly nurse takes blood pressure, temperature, weight, height, blood, urine. The door no sooner latches when in walks a very approachable and seemingly competent doctor. He pokes and prods and asks many questions, family history and personal medical history. It is a great first impression.

"We will call if there is anything irregular with the tests."

They called on Wednesday.

The message, "Please have Scott call us as soon as possible."

I called when I get home from work around 5:30.

"The doctor is not comfortable discussing this matter with you over the phone. Please come in as soon as possible."

I think we have all either personally gone through or heard first hand of these calls. If not, here is what happened before I could even stop to think straight. My stomach dropped. My normally optimistic outlook was short-circuited by my "worst case scenario" instinct. My mind raced…High-blood-pressure-blood-sugar-issues-white-blood-cell-count-cancer-my-goodness-what-type-of-cancer-what-did-they-find-out-the-life-insurance-is-paid-the-family-is-1200-miles-from-our-traditional-support-group-I-feel-fine-I-am-active-breathe-breathe-breathe.

"Ok, is there an opening tonight? … Yes? At 7? Great, we will be there at 7."

"Ma chere, clear the calendar, we are going for a car ride. T1, you are in charge."

At the appointed hour (15 minutes early), the nurse escorts us into the examining room. She takes my blood-pressure and lets us know that the doctor will be right in. And, he was.

He looked at ma chere strangely and then at me almost questioningly. He handed me a sheaf of papers and started to take my blood-pressure again. I exhaled loudly and visibly relaxed. Page 1 read, "High Cholesterol Diet – Foods to Avoid". Page 2 read, "High Cholesterol Diet – Foods to Seek".

"So, Doc, not to minimize this, but we are here just to talk about my high cholesterol?"

"Yes, you didn't already know this."

I ran through the conversation with the receptionist earlier in the evening.

He blanched, "I guess we really do not need to recheck your blood pressure. I can pretty much guess why it is off. She SHOULD have told you it was your cholesterol and asked you to make an appointment."

We talked living with high cholesterol for 15 minutes or so. It was a bit of a blur.

Ma chere and I laughed, nervously, all the way to Walgreens to fill in the prescription for Crestor.

Bad form, bad bad form. Bad form, indeed!

Title by: Tanya Donelly

Call the Doctor

We have also been working our way around to getting new doctors. We picked one that is close to the house in the Spring. Unfortunately, he is rarely there. His Physician Assistants take most of his appointments; and if you want to see him, he is in the office on Tuesday evenings from 6 PM to 8 PM. Crazy, I know.

Ma chere did find a new doctor a couple of weeks ago. T2's little accident (he is on the mend, thank you all for the well wishes) forced us into picking a doctor sooner rather than later. Some complications after his first week meant we had to have a primary care referral in order to have insurance coverage for the additional work. I understand the sense behind a "gated policy" where all specialist work must be referred. I strongly dislike it when I get stuck on the wrong side of the gate.

In any case, we now have a very nice physician that I have seen personally twice in as many weeks. Not bad, considering that after 6 months I could not even tell you who the other guy was and that after being in the office 5 or 6 times with the Ts.

Title by: JJ Cale

I Know That My Redeemer Lives

It is easy to find a WELS congregation in Wisconsin. The choices are rather limited out east. As a matter of fact, there is only 1 WELS church, Grace of God, that services all of Long Island. Grace of God is located in Dix Hills at about the mid-point of the island. It is a small congregation with 60-70 members. People can come from as far away as Queens to the west (60 minutes) and Baiting Hollow to the east (45 minutes...guess who).

As a general rule, we attend church every Sunday; a day also held in priority as a family day. We have not always asked the Ts to attend Sunday school. The rationale was they get plenty of Christian education during the week compared to quality/quantity family time. Since they are no longer in private school, the balance was off. This is where the tension began. The Ts needed more "face time with their Maker".

We were spending 90 minutes round trip to Grace of God. Throw in the hour or so to get 5 people out the door on a Sunday morning plus Service time, the inevitable chat in the back of church and voilà the morning was gone. Now, don't get me wrong. I have no problem giving thanks to the Lord for his Grace and Forgiveness. But, the 90 minutes commute plus $20 in gas was not what He had in mind, I think.

On top of that, we were not satisfied. And again, I beg your indulgence for just a minute. We do understand that church is not like Starbucks. Our satisfaction is not guaranteed. We do not attend church to be told how wonderful we are. We do not attend church to be told what bounty will befall us because we showed up this week. On the other hand, there should be a sense of belonging that neither ma chère nor I felt.

It was with this on our hearts that we began looking for a new church. Our foreboding was the understanding that we would have to leave WELS to do it. Thankfully, the Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod (LCMS) has a relatively large foothold on Long Island.

I will spare you, at this point, the research into the differences between WELS and LCMS, the time spent in conversation with one another, both WELS and LCMS pastors, parents, relatives, etc. Ultimately, we made the decision to join Our Redeemer in Aquebogue, NY. I promise to post more on the transition later.

Title by: Samuel Medley

Feels Like Home

We spent last Saturday afternoon in Times Square and Central Park. We drove in to Manhattan late Saturday morning and hooked up with ma chère's cousin, his wife and a couple friend of theirs on 57th & Madison. We bruised our way through the crowds down to Hard Rock and after lunch we walked passed the M&M Store for dessert and then up to Central Park to let the Ts blow off some much pent up steam. They had a blast on the huge rocks in the park and one of the many play areas. Then we walked back up to the van on the Upper East Side. You cannot believe the crowds on Madison Avenue and Time Square. It was an incredible sea of people.

We spent the rest of Memorial Day weekend mostly around the house. It has been a long time where we just hung out together. We got down to the beach on Sunday. The Ts braved the water while ma cherè and I laid out on a rock close to shore. Ma chère chatted with a woman whose vacation home is just down the street from our house.

It is not quite "home", yet. But, we are working on it. We all miss the connectedness of being in Milwaukee.

Title by: Randy Newman (Performed by Bonnie Raitt)

Wednesday Morning 3 A.M.

Vendors are only allowed in the environment on Wednesdays. It is a privacy thing for the Ps. This means that Wednesdays turn out to be coordinated chaos.

There are usually 3 or 4 vendors on the property, plus the normal maintenance crews for the tennis court, pool and lawn. Wednesdays sometimes remind me of software deployment weekends at Manpower. Or, like running downhill. You cannot really slow down and there is the nagging fear that your head will get ahead of your feet.

On a completely different note, the ticks here are thick as ants! They are everywhere. I'll have to get the property sprayed here before long. We are on a nightly tick check for the Ts and Luci. I just plucked one off of the wall. It was sitting there, like a spider. Unbelievable.

Title by: Simon & Garfunkel

Reunited

It has been a while, once again, between posts. I have been writing down ideas and thoughts; I just have been too busy to clean them up enough for posting. I am still too much of a stickler to just throw out unedited copy. That said, there will be some retro-active posts in the next few days as I clean out my archive of saved ideas.

If you missed the latest news, Ma cherè and the Ts are now living on Long Island. We took a lease on a house near what locals call the North Fork. The house is basically in the middle of farms and vineyards, but still only 5-10 "winter minutes" from the grocery stores and the ubiquitous "Big Box Row".

The house was mostly cleaned before the arrival. We spent the first few days on blow up mattresses and sitting on pillows. The furniture arrived last Monday. The Ts started school early last week. I've gotten over my first bout of bugs from the Ts. (I got sick every time I went home or they came East. Talk about "feeling the love". ;-))

More later.

Title by: Peaches & Herb

Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride

So, on Friday, I decided to grab the dilemma bull by the horns. We are pushing to have the family out here by the first weekend in February. The thought was we will sacrifice space or other comforts in order to get everyone back together. In addition, the school system here starts the Spring semester on February 4.

No, we have not sold the townhouse, yet. Yes, it will be expensive. However, if our family were a rubber band, we would be stretched just about to our limit.

Of course, nothing is every that easy. The average rent out here is $2,200 for a 3 or 4 bedroom house. Everyone asks for 1^st month, last month and security deposit. The renter also has to pay the broker fee, which is equal to one month's rent. That's $8,800 for those of you keeping track. I can tell you that after $15,000 for school and 4 months un or under employed, the well is rather dry; think Sahara. I have it on good confidence that, "Money is just money." But, it doesn't grow on trees either.

I spent the day today looking at rental properties. It is a mixed bag. There is a big place that would be very nice; they are asking $2,800. That puts us up to $10,800 due in 2 weeks. Oh, and probably no pets. "Ohana" means "family." "Family" means "no one gets left behind." There is another one that is not nearly as nice. It is currently under major renovations and might be ready the first week of February. Rent - $2,300. I'll keep looking, ignoring the fact that we do not have the $8,800 to move in.

We're back on the fence on this issue. I really want them out here as soon as possible. I just don't know how we can get past the costs of moving AND come up with a small fortune just to sign a lease.

Title from Lilo & Stitch

A Day In The Life

Amy was out here the weekend before last. She got the whirlwind tour of Westhampton, Quogue, Riverhead, Baiting Hollow and the major roads in Islip, Ronkonkama, Mastic and Shirley.

On Saturday, we drove around the area, enjoyed champagne, chocolates and strawberries in our room and had an insanely expensive dinner at Q in Quogue Saturday night.

On Sunday, we shopped at Tanger Mall in Riverhead, dropped in on a few open houses and spent a good portion of the day just hanging out in our room.

Here is some marriage advice from a long-distance husband; never take for granted the time just sitting in a room together.

Title by The Beatles

Jimi Thing

It's Sunday. This is traditionally what I consider "Family Day". It is the one day a week that I reserve for just us. After church, if there is nothing already planned, just about anything goes. We've been known to end up as far as the Mississippi River on some Sunday road trips, Cave of the Mounds in Blue Mound, WI (yes, Milwaukeeans, that is where Blue Mound Road eventually gets to), IKEA at Woodfield Mall, Chicago Museum of Science and Industry, Two Rivers for ice cream sundaes. We, generally, travel very well together. It is good family time. We can also just spend the day at home hanging out.

Long Island will give us new "Sunday Explorers" territory. It is about 120 miles long and 15 to 20 miles wide. There is, of course, NYC at the west end. There are vineyards, shopping and plenty of water and beaches at the east end. In between is what really amounts to one big suburb for NYC. It is similar to what the Milwaukee/Chicago I94 corridor looks like now or the Denver/Colorado Springs I25 corridor is beginning to look or pick your 45 to 60 mile stretch out of any major metropolitan area.

It has been a lazy weekend for me. I've taken to squatting in the surprisingly few coffee shops around the area. My favorite remains Sunset Café in Westhampton, though I think the girls might start to think me a bit creepy. You know me; I'll strike up a chat with anyone. In anticipation, I found another bakery/coffee shop in Riverhead yesterday. They have a nice comfy couch in the corner that keeps me away from the staff, though the coffee isn't nearly as good. I'll move between them until I find another to throw in the mix.

Surprisingly, there are no coffee shops in South Hampton to speak of. It would have been fun to watch the parade of people there over the rim of a latte. East Hampton, where the stars all hang out, is a long drive at 45 minutes or more for a cup of coffee.

There are, of course, the obligatory Starbucks. However, I refuse to pay good money for mediocre coffee and then have to pay $20 or more for monthly Wi-Fi. "Free the Internet", that's my motto.

Title by Dave Matthews Band