Give Me a Little More Time

I am knocking around the idea of writing a book. I know that I am not much of a writer; frankly, I am an unranked amateur. However, I look around the industry and all I see are a lot of housekeeping books. Housekeeping is only one of many components that make up the job of House Manager. There are also administrative, kitchen and maintenance duties to name just a few.
The thing is, once you get an understanding of the processes involved, there are many many ways to tackle the job, just like there are dozens of books that will "teach" you how to use Microsoft Word or "Make a Million on Ebay".
I now face a dilemma. Do I publish my ideas here first or do I stop writing here for a bit in order to get my ideas submitted? And, of course, my mind races with the "what-if" scenarios, like "what if" I forget to properly cite my resources?
In the meantime, things on the blog will be on the light side.

Title by: The Chairmen of the Board

Introduction

So by popular demand, a bit about being a House Manager. First, let me acknowledge my sources and my experience.

I received my Certified Household Manager certificate from Starkey International in July 2007.

I have worked restaurants, resorts and hotels. I have several years experience in a kitchen that served both restaurant and banquet customers. I have served in formal dining rooms as waiter and sommelier (though, frankly I prefer to drink the stuff rather than sell it), banquet server, maitre'd, bartender, even a brief stint as a DJ. I have worked the front desk, reservationist, housekeeping, bellhop, pool attendant, water-ski instructor, chauffeur, concierge and just about every position in a movie theater except projectionist. My mother shared her wonderful skills in preparing French, and indeed International, cuisine and entertaining every guest as though they were an ambassador.

I have long hard-earned years of retail service experience. I can fold anything from a woman's silk shell to a 8 foot by 8 foot braided rug. (Do not even get me started about folding clothes and US Navy boot-camp.) I can stand at a register for countless hours with nothing to drink or eat, greeting every customer with a smile in my voice and balance my till to the penny at the end of my shift. I can tell you about the features and benefits of computers, well constructed furniture, washers & dryers and air conditioners. I have worked for a 4-seat answering service and a 300-seat mutual fund call center. I was a registered rep (Series 6 & 63).

I have assisted in the management of rental and condominium properties. I have done maintenance, housekeeping, grounds keeping and neighbor relations. I even had the thankless job of Secretary & Treasurer for our Owners' Association. (Yes, the condo is STILL for sale.)

My experience in information technology has been as a business analyst both on the IT side of the shop and the "Business" side. Project managers will see Project Management Institute type references in here. Process managers will see parts of the Rational Unified Development ("who"/"how") and Waterfall processes for software development. There is even a bit of requirements training via Requirements Quest. I have also been working on and supporting computers since the Commodore 64 only had a tape drive.

But, as they say, enough about me...

Title by: Panic! At The Disco

Bad Moon on the Rise

If you were still wondering what I was thinking when I left the IT field, new evidence is popping up.

Silicon Valley Losing Middle-Wage Jobs
By JOHN MARKOFF of the NEW YORK TIMES
Silicon Valley is in danger of creating its own digital divide; the California high-tech region is losing its middle-class work force at a significant rate.

Title by: Creedence Clearwater Revival

I've Seen All Good People

It was a difficult day, yesterday. A fair amount of time was spent on finding better ways to communicate. This is normally very hard to do. The situation never comes up for people that are communicating well. You only really ever find yourself talking about communication because communication has broken down to some extent. And, of course, it is personal. There's no way to avoid it. I would like to think the hardest part is over. The Ps and I have worked very hard the past few months to put this together. That's not to say it will be easy. I'll be happy with easier.

Title by Yes

Seasons Change

I know it has been a while and even longer since I have posted consistently. Work has been tough. There are many challenges to making inter-personal relationships work. "Communication is key", as the saying goes. The Ps and I are still on a bumpy road to figuring out the best ways to communicate with each other and get the job done. Did I mention the road was bumpy? Perhaps, the road has been bone-jarring might be better.

The time apart from my family is…agonizing. Agony is a good word to explain it. Getting rid of the house was not supposed to take this long. More than ever, I recognize that I am making life changing decisions for me and ma chère, but more importantly for my children. It is 7 months today since we had more than a few days together in our own space. My children have spent the better part of a year without their father at their side. It nibbles at my soul and breaks my heart to think of it.

I was approached in December to consider a position back home. It is a House Manager/Cook position. The responsibilities, hours, etc. are less than what I have here. So, too, is the salary. Also, it does not feel like there is any other potential with the position. I would stay in that rather limited role for as long as I would be with that family. That is not at all like what I face here. The obvious up side is I would be back with my family. Add to that my mid-western sense of employer loyalty, the past few bumpy weeks on the job, 6 day work weeks and you get a sense of my confusion.

What was I thinking in May?

Title by Corinne Bailey Rae

Pretty House for Sale

Our biggest bogeyman right now is our condo. We really have to find a way to get it sold or occupied. The housing market right now is so soft that no one is even looking. Add to that Christmas and a tightening economy, I am not sure when the place will sell. It is a great townhouse; we just need to get some traffic. Heck, any traffic at this point would be a positive thing.

The New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and many real-estate and financial market gurus are bearish, to say the least, on the current real-estate market. Some are predicting things will not get better for the low end of the market until sometime in 2009 or as late as 2010.

Too many sellers, not enough creditors, property values declining from unrealized highs...how do you possibly plan for this type of thing when you change careers?

Title by Charlie Pride

Finest Worksong

Changing careers is a difficult task. It is easy to think that once you have stepped on the path, the rest of the trip follows naturally. In my case, that has been mostly true. There have been, and of course will be, points where I reconsider the decision to change careers. Like just about everyone else, I ask myself if I should be working at what I am working at. I am confident that the decisions made in April are still valid.
That is not to say that there are not difficulties in my work. Some people get confused when they hear me speaking of the challenges in my day to day. It is, after all, still a job. There will be difficult times, challenges, conflict, etc.
I also have to be careful to separate the work challenges from the challenges of relocation and separation. Am I having a bad day at work because of issues there or am I carrying too much of my personal life (or severe lack of it right now) to the job with me? This question is relevant for anyone that is working; however, up until now, I have been blessed with a relatively stable personal life.

Title by R.E.M.

Suddenly I See

This may be old news for some of you.

Starting the last week of August, the Ps and I opened negotiations to make my placement with them permanent. The negotiations wrapped up on September 13^th with me taking a contract to be their Household Manager. The benefit package is particularly nice for any industry and very good for this business.

For anyone keeping track, it was 18 weeks from when I left my job to being hired in a new industry. I am sure someday it will seem a speck of time. Right now, it feels like 18 months. The 2 months of training and the month of waiting seem like they took place so long ago. As I've stated before, some days on the property are a week and then the week flies by. It is also 18 weeks since I spent more than 2 days in my own home. I miss my space.

Ma cherè and I put all of our faith in this being the right course of action. I still feel this is where I am supposed to be. I truly enjoy what I am doing. Do not get me wrong; it is still work. There are really good days and really bad days. There are days I go to my room wiped and whipped. 10 to 12 hour days are the norm. There have been a few 14s and just as few 8s. This is management, after all.

There is still a lot of work to be done to reunite our family. I will also have to mend the stress my being gone so long has placed on the Ts and our family.

Next up, of course, is relocating ma cherè and the Ts to Long Island.

Title by K.T. Tunstal

I'm On My Way

I am being given the opportunity to validate my decision to change careers. Arrangements have been made for a temporary placement with a principal out east. I will primarily be assisting the Lady-of-the-House in creating the House Manager's Book for their 2 properties plus the standard "other duties as assigned". I will be out there for a few weeks, until a permanent House Manager is available. My flight leaves early Monday morning. I should arrive at the house mid-afternoon.

I usually try very hard to not build expectations. I have found that a blank slate is not easily disappointed. I have just the barest of information regarding the principals; probably less than they know about me. However, seeing that I have never even talked to them, I am impressed with their trust and conviction in Starkey. A total stranger will be serving their guests and living under their roof starting Monday afternoon.

Of course, the location means more time away from ma chère and the Things. This trip should be easier, though. To begin with, we have had significant practice in the recent past. In addition, it will be possible for me to head for home on the occasional weekend if need be. Back to school will be rough, but we will stay on top of it. Besides, after spending the last 4 weeks with Dad, the Things might appreciate a break from the old ogre.

You Can Do It

Thoughts for self-motivation:

• I know this is the right direction.


• I am doing this, now, because this is what I am supposed to be doing.


• I must trust the process. Patience will prevail.


• Stay focused on the original goal. (A little voice asks, "What was the original goal?" Hmm, I seem to have forgotten to write that one down. Point taken, you must document your goals. "As you think, so you create." It only works if you've written it down somewhere.)

I once had the opportunity to hear Frank Lloyd Wright's son speak a few years ago. He gave an insightful quote that he credited to his father that I will paraphrase, "Worry about the details, everything else will follow." It is such a stretch for me to even imagine how to do that; however, it remains a goal. I tend towards the general; I paint in broad strokes. I will continue to believe that the details of this endeavor will work themselves out.

Yes, I am trying just as hard to convince you as myself. There is no sin in doubting your faith, only in losing it.

Walking On Broken Glass

The placement saga continues. I mentioned to some that there was an excellent position in the pipe. Unfortunately, it did not work out. I am waiting for news on a temporary position in the field that should last until the middle or end of September. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. It will be good to get out and use my training and experience. Hopefully, something will turn around before the end of the assignment.

19th Nervous Breakdown

I must admit it is strange being in summer break with my children. It is not something you expect to do at 40. As is typical with children, it has to be on their terms. We've had a nice time just hanging out around each other. Today it was hanging out at the lake.
Based on Mrs. M's recommendation, I am reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad. The premise is that most of us do not appreciate how money really works. The premise is sound; the application of the premise is a paradigm shift. I've been reading alternative thought processes for a few years. As with a lot of philosophies, you have to take from it what you can apply. I will see how much of the ideas I can apply to myself, my family and my ideas of raising children.
There are a couple of placement opportunities in the works. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. The first opportunity is, by all descriptions, what I got into this industry for: hands-on, process improvement, relationships, travel, mature freedom. The second looks like a wonderful opportunity to help a couple with their entertainment and business needs. Both provide an excellent way to get into the industry and exciting location opportunities.
I have some other work that is keeping me busy. A few new accounts at GBL Software and another idea of my own. Next week, I will have to return to reality and start the temporary position job hunt. I will start in Milwaukee; I can expand from there if things get dire.
I will miss working on the deck up north in cargo shorts & Merrell's with a Blue Moon. Working on a tan and swimming with the kids, Sirius Alt Nation 21 as the soundtrack for the summer and hacking for 8-10 hours a day. Someone is going to show up with the reality train, any minute now. In the meantime, "Bartender, another Blue Moon."

Shower the People

The Friday formal went off without too much ado. It's good to have that pressure off of us. I spent Saturday working on my book and attending the last of our Wine & Spirits classes. This week was the digestifs Cognac, Armagnac, Calvados, Scotch (highland and an Islay), ruby port, tawny port and a cream sherry. It's amazing I made it back downstairs to keep working on my book. I can tell you, though, while the Calvados was a very yummy first, the Lophraig Scotch was brilliant and the Armagnac fantastic. It took great self-control to only sip at the glasses.
As you might have seen in my previous posts, the process here includes a rather in-depth autobiographical look at who you are, where you came from and what your influences are. My attitude is I have to be very honest with myself and my employer if I am to justify entering their home on a daily basis. Some of the exercises were exhausting at both the spiritual and emotional level. The result of all this work was, for me, a 20 page examination of my past, experience, values and style and standards of work.
The Placement Team then creates a Curriculum Vitae for us based on this work plus several interviews with us, our existing resumes and job experience.
I got to see the draft of my CV last Monday. I was surprised to see excerpts from the transcripts taken during the school's check of my references. These are added to the end of the CV.
Here is the hard part. I was stunned. I still find myself crying at the memory of the responses. I cannot explain the wash of emotion I felt at seeing the wonderful words used by these people. I can only say that I am humbled and blessed to be surrounded by such generosity and love. Thank you all.

Values, Standards & Morals

Here is what I spent the weekend working on. This is the first draft of what will become my Personal Statement.

In today’s advertising environment, phrases like “providing service over and above expectations”, “generosity” and “consideration” have become watered down. While I believe in these concepts, I believe further that only through example can these values be measured.

At Quigley Preparatory Seminary, I was taught that Christians in every walk of life are called to demonstrate love, generosity and consideration. Everything we do is to be done for the glory of God, including our work. I believe that honest work should be performed honestly. This means that all honest work can be a Christian vocation or calling. We do our jobs as Christians when we do our jobs as effectively and honestly as possible.

At seminary, I also understood that my vocation was not to the priesthood. I felt called to a different fatherhood. This decision was tested when we moved away from Chicago after my freshman year. I was given the opportunity to choose to live in the dormitory full-time or move to Milwaukee with my family. I did not return to Quigley.

I place great value in my family. I am thankful for the conscious effort my parents took to raise their children differently than they were raised. I take pride in providing a nurturing environment to my wife and children. In this environment, they are given the tools to materialize their visions; praise for their successes and sincere support for their failures. I cherish my time with Amy and the boys. After my faith, these are God’s greatest gifts to me.

Admit It

This is my Admissions Essay.

My sister and I were raised to place great value on respect, conduct and etiquette. This was founded in parts on my mother's French upbringing and my father's military background. Experience has also taught me that there is no substitute for sincerity and consideration in all matters. I strive to provide a respectful quality of genuine service provided by deliberate, kind and patient hand. My wife and I continue that tradition with our children.

I do believe the standard cliché "good help is hard to find". However, this is only half the problem. To provide good customer service, the provider must have an understanding of what is to be expected. If I enter a distinguished restaurant, I expect gracious service, impeccable surroundings and a meal created from the best ingredients. If these expectations are met, I leave with a good feeling about the place.

My goal for this training is to learn what it is to provide high-quality service and to learn insights into the finer details. My background imparts me with the aptitude for excellent service. I wish to learn what is to be expected so that I can anticipate those needs and surpass them when possible.

The Name of the Rose

The other morning, ma chère épouse and I wrote what I called our "boogeyman list". The list of issues that scare us the most during my transition. Here is the list in no particular order:

• Spouse Time
• Family Time
• Health Insurance (This is probably the scariest monster under the bed!)
  
• Mortgage
• Bills (Utilities, Student Loans, Auto Loan, Credit Cards)
  
• School (The Things hafta learn.)
• Church
• Spouse Time
  
• Loss of Salary
• Increase of Debt (Career Training is not cheap!)
• Did I mention Spouse Time?
  

The list is not comprehensive, not by a long shot. My idea was that if we at least name our worries, we have a better chance of communicating what is keeping us awake at night.

The World Turning Circles Running 'round My Brain

My last day is next Friday. It is going to be a nerve-wracking week. There is very little to transition, which means a few meetings, a few goodbyes and the rest of the week just marking time. One of my motivators to leave IT is the marking of time. There are few things as frustrating as the "hurry up and wait". It is alright for an hour or even a day. Unfortunately, I have endured much longer stretches of waiting than hurrying over the years.

Remains of the Day

The career has changed since "Remains of the Day" or "Gosford Park". The staff can either "live in" or "live out" and the hours are generally 8-6. But the duties are still the same: manage the staff, housekeeping & maintenance, event planning, service for meals and entertainment, personal care, food and cellar stock, transportation (some chauffeuring) and travel when necessary. The duties depend on the employer. If they have multiple facilities, the estate manager is responsible for the staff in each house, boat, plane, etc.

Since I am starting out relatively fresh, I would expect to start with a small family with a relatively small staff of 1 or 2 plus me. Some resorts and hotels are also providing private service for their high-end guests. The pay is less there, but the tips seem to more than make up for it. I have read about a few household managers running staffs of 25 in 2 residences of 10,000 to 30,000 square feet. Most of these guys, though, are retired military senior stewards or officers.

Next up, training...

Time For A Cool Change

I was chatting with old college friend last fall that suggested that I look into the hospitality industry. I worked in a similar capacity in college. I worked at a full-service resort during summers and at hotels and restaurants during the school year. I always enjoyed the work, particularly the one-on-one with the guests.

Then, ma chère épouse and I were at a New Year's party in D.C. this year and met a woman who provides private service as a temporary. She flies in and manages the house, nannies for the children, event planning, whatever the employer needs. She provides private service for a couple of weeks and then moves on. I thought, "I can do this." This provided some insight into the industry.

I did not think about it much until mid-March when I stumbled upon a butler's blog. After spending time with Dean, I ended up spending a few days researching modern day butlers.

The Reasons for Quitins Are Gettin Bigger Each Day

5 years ago, I began to worry about retirement from information technology (IT). I did not notice many "long-toothed" IT people around. The few around are so removed from the current technology, they might as well be a newbie (no disrespect intended).

I started in "computers" because it was a hobby. It was fun swapping out pc cards and trying new shareware. The BBSs (yes, I know, I am dating myself) were relatively free from flamers. Spam only came in a can. Internet access was limited to universities and a few internet service providers. Any one remember when it was a big deal when Compuserve & Prodigy began providing limited access to gopher, usenet and ftp?

After 13 years in an information technology role, I am leaving the industry. This was not an easy decision. I enjoy IT. Sometimes it can be like Christmas; new gadgets and widgets come around almost everyday. What started as a hobby, turned into a career; now it is a job. I know my job is not who I am, it is what I do. Still, I expect more of myself.