Cum On Feel the Noize

It is that time of the year, again. SPRING BLITZ!!

It is one of just a few times a year when the Ps are out way long enough for us to do some serious damage (read: Deep Cleaning). This year we are celebrating variations on the theme of Painting. The exterior of the Hamptons house is getting a pressure wash and the trim painted. The interior of the house and the New York City apartment are getting touched up, too.

The landscapers are cleaning out yard, edging and primping the property, despite the small snow piles that are stubbornly not going away. And, the pool company is making repairs to the tile, coping and filtration system

For those keeping count, that's 3 painting crews of 4-6 guys, 4 landscapers, 2 masons and my maintenance guy. I feel like I am on the wrong side of the walls at Helm's Deep.

Next week should be a bit quieter. It will take the "Charge of the House Brigade" to put everything back in its place.

Now, if I could just get the leaf blowers and power washer to hum in opposing frequencies. Where are those earplugs?

Title by: Quiet Riot

Spare Me The Details

You do not need all this training and experience to be a good HM. There is a definite advantage to being trained in some field that requires organizational skills. The ability to think "on your feet" and prioritize tasks and issues is invaluable.
The idea is to break the "environment" down into smaller manageable pieces. At a macro level, the environment is all the places, people and things that are under the aegis of the principal(s). In other words, all the properties, staff, guests, pets, vehicles, etc. that the principals call their own. At some point, you will have to know the details of all these things; each seeming detail revealing that more information can be gathered.

Title by: The Offspring

What The Butler Saw

The people we provide service for are the principal(s). For readers of this blog, the Ps are my principals.) Clever how their last name starts with "P", n'est ce pas?)

I refer to my peers in the trade by the title House Manager. It is a well accepted title by many including principals and placement agencies. We can collectively be called Butler, Major Domo or Estate Manager as well. Companion, Personal Assistant and Valet are also titles used but are generally more specialized in personal care for the principals. I will elaborate more on that distinction later.

Title by: Squeeze

Introduction

So by popular demand, a bit about being a House Manager. First, let me acknowledge my sources and my experience.

I received my Certified Household Manager certificate from Starkey International in July 2007.

I have worked restaurants, resorts and hotels. I have several years experience in a kitchen that served both restaurant and banquet customers. I have served in formal dining rooms as waiter and sommelier (though, frankly I prefer to drink the stuff rather than sell it), banquet server, maitre'd, bartender, even a brief stint as a DJ. I have worked the front desk, reservationist, housekeeping, bellhop, pool attendant, water-ski instructor, chauffeur, concierge and just about every position in a movie theater except projectionist. My mother shared her wonderful skills in preparing French, and indeed International, cuisine and entertaining every guest as though they were an ambassador.

I have long hard-earned years of retail service experience. I can fold anything from a woman's silk shell to a 8 foot by 8 foot braided rug. (Do not even get me started about folding clothes and US Navy boot-camp.) I can stand at a register for countless hours with nothing to drink or eat, greeting every customer with a smile in my voice and balance my till to the penny at the end of my shift. I can tell you about the features and benefits of computers, well constructed furniture, washers & dryers and air conditioners. I have worked for a 4-seat answering service and a 300-seat mutual fund call center. I was a registered rep (Series 6 & 63).

I have assisted in the management of rental and condominium properties. I have done maintenance, housekeeping, grounds keeping and neighbor relations. I even had the thankless job of Secretary & Treasurer for our Owners' Association. (Yes, the condo is STILL for sale.)

My experience in information technology has been as a business analyst both on the IT side of the shop and the "Business" side. Project managers will see Project Management Institute type references in here. Process managers will see parts of the Rational Unified Development ("who"/"how") and Waterfall processes for software development. There is even a bit of requirements training via Requirements Quest. I have also been working on and supporting computers since the Commodore 64 only had a tape drive.

But, as they say, enough about me...

Title by: Panic! At The Disco

Alice's Restaurant

Ma chere and the Ts all settled on Long Island. I have been on the job with the Ps for 16 months. It is safe to say that the transition that was a contributing factor for this blog is complete. I have reached a point with this blog where I am not sure where I should go next. When I started blogging, I thought I might want to continue to write even after I made the transition to my new career. Now, I find myself wondering if anyone really cares to hear yet another vapid rant on social, political and religious issues.

I am thinking about starting a series on what Estate/House Managers do starting with the basics. This sort of follows the idea of "Write What You Know". I want to make sure I leave it generic enough so as to not step on anyone's intellectual property. I have been working on the idea for the last few months. I will try to come up with something soon.

Title by: Arlo Guthrie

Song for the Dumped

The Ps big summer party is coming up soon. All the guest rooms will be filled for the weekend, plus a few other nooks and crannies. The party itself is on a Saturday evening with the teens making an overnight party of it. In all, there will be 150 guests or so.

Needless to say, there is plenty of planning and coordination with the band, tent company, caterer and others. The house and grounds are primped to the highest standard. The property has been a flurry of activity with housekeepers, maintenance, landscapers, pool & court vendors all doing their part to make the environment ready.

Everything goes into a master document. I amalgamated an assortment of documents together as a sort of punch-list for preparation and execution of events. As my sister says, it is the "Oh we ALMOST forgot..." list.

Did I forget to mention the septic backed-up yesterday? ...DANG, that bites!!!

Title by: Ben Folds Five

On the Wing

The Ps took a 6 day trip to Paris recently. It was a rather quick thing. Mr P had been knocking the idea around for a few days. I found out they were definitely going at 5 PM on a Monday. Departure day was Thursday.

The air travel was set by 6 PM on Monday, but we had to wait for Paris to be awake to set the room.

Tuesday morning we changed travel agents to American Express and re-booked the flight. By that afternoon, the air travel and hotel were locked in. The hotel and American Express concierge services helped me get dinner and theater reservations all set on Wednesday. We had Euros in hand by Wednesday afternoon. Everything was packed before I left on Wednesday, too.

This would be expected or even a bit slow if we were in Manhattan. But, no, it was all done from the Hamptons. Thanks in very large part to American Express Travel and Concierge and the banking team.

Title by: Owl City

Make It Easier

Since I am down one half of my housekeeping staff, Ms. C and I have to make up the difference. I probably missed that introduction. Ms. C started with us just after Thanksgiving last year. She generally covers the Monday through Friday shifts.

Ms. C has been working 6 day weeks on and off since the beginning of June. She even pulled a 17 day-in-a-row jag. She can be contentious and difficult at times; however, she definitely knows how to pull up the slack when I ask her. She has the right kind of heart for the job. I will have to be sure to not burn her out during this transition.

Title by: Indigo Girls

Everybody Ought to Have a Maid

One of the housekeepers left suddenly at the beginning of June. For complicated reasons, she was unable to return to our service in a timely manner. I had to replace her. Thankfully, she was able to refer friends and relatives. The new housekeeper starts next Wednesday.

Title by: Stephen Sondheim

Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, Get Your Adverbs Here

Staffing has been an issue for me from the very beginning at the P's. I have a, relatively, stable staff; however, I am always looking to "upgrade". Some things I can train; however, there needs to be an inherent ability. The industry calls it a "Service Heart". An innate desire to please and see a job done, thoroughly.

One of neat things about my training was being in a room where the majority of the people had "Service Heart". It was comforting to be with people that also felt compelled to do a proper job, properly.

(It is funny, but apparently the only way I have to explain this ability is with the use of adverbs, precisely. HA!)

Title by: Grammar Rock

Apron Strings

When washing aprons, make sure to tie-off the string ends. A nice figure-eight knot at the end should do.

Two words...SPIN CYCLE. yeesh, what a nightmare.

Title by: Everything But The Girl

This is the Picture

Here is a little trick that, usually, keeps me out of trouble.

Before we touch any surface or space in the environment, I take digital pictures. I stand in the middle of the room and take shots of the 4 walls and 4 corners; front shots, top-down shots, under/over, etc.

I print them all and keep copies on my iPhone. (Yes, a business perk, I have an iPhone.)

Then, I let the housekeepers loose. Let them dust, clean, wipe, steam, whatever.

When they are all finished, we put it all back the way we found it. Tada!

The Spring Blitz taught me that there is no such thing as too many pictures. I thought I took a ton of them. When it came to putting things back together, I still found myself having to figure out where things went because of where they were NOT in a picture.

Title by: Peter Gabriel

April Showers

I hired a new landscaper for this season. The previous vendor just did not seem to be on our agenda. The lawn looked terrible and he just did not see that it was his responsibility to do something about it. The crab grass was the pool guy's fault; the moss was from too much water (never mind the fact that he controlled the sprinkler system); the budget for the stones too small. I call it the 2-syndrome: too much water, too much sun, too little time... You get the idea.

The new landscaper would have ideally been in during the Blitz, unfortunately, the timing and weather did not cooperate. This and the Wednesday only restriction means the landscaper has been playing catch-up for the past 3 weeks. His crew has done a fantastic job of squeezing what would have been 2 weeks of cleanup and setup into 3 very long days. I hope he is successful.

Title by: Sugarland

Ballroom Blitz

March means "Spring Blitz" in the environment. The P's version of spring cleaning, spring maintenance and annual projects rolled into a 10-14 day period, usually while they are on spring break.

In 10 days, I had 12-14 vendors with 20 or so people on the property. Here's a sample of what we did:
Sand and refinish the floors in 2 rooms
Steam clean all curtains & carpets
Deep clean each room (move all furniture, sweep/vacuum, wipe down walls, scrub, scrub, scrub)
Clean all bedding
Clean all windows (inside & out) (There's over 100 windows, BIG JOB!)
Caulk & paint entire master bedroom suite
Caulk & paint foyer
Repair driveway gates
Replace sprinkler control panels
Replace storm windows for screens on most windows
Tune-up all vehicles
Tune-up boilers (3) & A/C units (5)
Repair dryer (again, and it's still not working!)
Send out art piece for minor framing restoration

So, that is a part of Spring Blitz. Of course, there is still a ton to do to get a property this size ready for the summer season. My Wednesdays are packed for the next few weeks with outdoor painting and repair projects.

The Ps gave me 4 stars out of 5. Next year, it should go easier.

Title by: The Sweet

Highland Laddie

One of my central roles is managing vendors. I am, generally, responsible for finding two or three vendors for a given project; getting estimates and references; and, making sure the work is done at the appropriate level of professionalism.

We recently had the floors done in the Hamptons. The company uses the new "dustless" system. While it was not dust free, there was a fine powder on most flat surfaces. However, it was a quick cleanup and was limited to just where the floors were done.

Why is it that as customers we have to force contractors to complete a job? The workmanship was sloppy. Stain and poly-coat left on base boards and stair risers. The sander apparently brushed up against the base boards leaving grooves. They could not keep to promised time frames, like showing up at 3 PM for an 8 AM to 9 AM window. They sent 1 guy back to move the furniture, 1 hour late (of course).

My complaints were at first met with shock. "But, look at how good the floors look." As if, after the pilot dumps the plane in the ocean, the airlines gets to say, "But look at how smooth the flight was." The best was, "You should just plan on the contractor showing up an hour later than they say." No accountability, no ownership.

I used a line from the Ps play book. "If you provide a less than perfect job, I'll provide a less than perfect check." I finally got their attention with that. They came back and cleaned up most of the mess. I still have some touch-up painting to do.

The floors look great.

Title by: Burl Ives

Too Country

I was not prepared for the transition to such an intensely inter-personal communicative position. The challenge for me was to learn to suspend my reaction to my principals’ body language and tone and focus on just the content of the message. It took a while to understand that by reacting to more than the content I was actually “feeding the fire”. I am coming to believe that one of the biggest challenges in personal service is just saying “Yes, ma’am” or “No, sir” and fighting the urge to elaborate or justify.

Title by Brad Paisley

New York Minute

My housekeepers both left on Thursday. One worked one day. The other never really got started. They each gave a number of reasons, but I believe it boiled down to buyers remorse.

The first woman panicked when she realized she would have to leave the comfort of being a chambermaid and actually work harder for her money than she was used to.

The other one thought she might slip by without my noticing her documents were expired. She could have worked that out if it weren't for the fact that she really preferred to work in Manhattan, not the Hamptons. She probably would not have made the summer anyway.

What does a guy have to do to catch a break in this city!

Title by Don Henley

Heart With No Companion

I think I have stated before that ma chère and I use just about every technology available to stay connected. We have "land lines", mobile phones, web-cams, instant messaging, text messaging, blogs, even the occasional letter and card (I know, how quaint). I use these tools to stay in touch with just about everyone now days. As the commercial suggests, I am living in "Saint Quenver Milhattan". Welcome to my network.

I am getting to the point, however, where phone, web-cams, IM and SMS isn't enough. Virtualization is great, do not get me wrong. It does provide quick and near real-time communication with my family and friends. However, it is "virtual", a similarity of reality. I am losing my patience in pretending it is enough to stay connected this way. Eventually, I long for a face to face conversation with a kindred spirit. To touch, to smell, to relish in the other senses beyond sight and hearing.

The Ps try to help, bless them. But, I really cannot feed my need for companionship from them. My job is to be familiar, not family. They are wonderful people. I could hang with them for a long time. However, as long as I am their employee I cannot cross that boundary. That boundary is there for both parties' protection.

Title by Leonard Cohen

Early in the Morning

Some of you might be wondering what a day in the house is like. These are some of the Daily Tasks the staff must do each and everyday.

6:30 - 7:00 Breakfast prep and service for early risers
7:30 Walk the dogs
7:45 Feed the dogs
8:00 - 8:30 Breakfast prep and service for Mr. P
9:00 Walk the grounds
10:00 Clean coffee service
11:00 Confirm lunch plans
12:00 Walk the dogs
12:30 - 1:00 Lunch prep and service (if required)
4:00 Confirm dinner plans
4:30 Feed the dogs
5:00 Walk the dogs
5:15 - 7:00 Dinner prep and service (if required)
7:00 Take the trash out, close the gates
9:30 Walk the dogs

The rest of the day is filled with Administration, Housekeeping, Culinary, Clothing & Laundry, Entertainment, Maintenance, Property & Grounds, Travel & Transportation, Safety and Protection and Personal Care for the Ps, their guests and pets.

For instance, I market for each property once or twice a week (culinary). House bills are recorded and paid once per week or more (administration). The houseman is tasked with priority projects once per week (maintenance). You get the point.

Title by Robert Palmer

I Get the Job Done

I cannot seem to get staff. It is frustrating for both me and the Ps. I need a part-time person for the city and a full-time person in the Hamptons. I have 4 placement agencies that specialize in domestics and one that provides housekeeping services plus several professional contacts beating the proverbial grass. All this, and I've only interviewed 5 or so candidates. I spent the day Thursday with someone I wanted to hire. She called me on Friday and turned down the job. She does not want to make the early morning commute into Manhattan; not safe enough apparently.

I am stuck on how else to generate leads for interviewing. The Ps are paying me way too much to be a housekeeper and dog-walker. Plus, the job is just not getting done. I personally cannot cover 7 days in the Hamptons plus another 5 days in the city per week. What I am doing is good work, but it is not enough.

Title by Big Daddy Kane