Just Like My Father

T1 got into some serious trouble at school the other day. He was confused by the difference between being in control versus being independent. He was so busy arguing and throwing attitude at teachers, he eventually not only lost control of the situation but control of himself as well.

I can already hear some of you thinking, "Here it begins…This is a separation thing. The boy needs attention." That might be some of it. Let us remember, though, that he is 12 going on 28. Besides, I see this as a positive thing. T1 is learning to deal with things on his own. He would go through this no matter if I were at home or not. The important thing is he is surrounded by people that know him, love him and with momentary self-inflicted exceptions respect him.

He now understands a little bit better that the price of taking help is not paid for by loss of independence. I am not so naïve that he gets it completely; however, a day or two out of class on suspension will certainly give him some time to mull it over.

Title by The Violent Femmes

Folsom Prison Blues

New York Times - National

College Dwellers Outnumber the Imprisoned

By SAM ROBERTS

Published: September 27, 2007

In a reversal from 2000, more Americans over all now live in college dormitories than in prisons.

What else could I possibly add to that.

Title by Johnny Cash

New York State of Mind

I know it is weird, but watching TV shows about New York while looking out my window at Manhattan is sort of cool, geeky granted, but cool none the less.

Title by Billy Joel

In the Air Tonight

I'm thinking about picking up a Verizon AirCard. It strikes me as terribly convenient to be anywhere and have computer access to the internet. Unfortunately, it is still very pricey.

What I really need (nudge nudge wink wink) is a decent GPS. I get turned around in these subdivisions and neighborhoods here and suddenly find myself on a new highway going in the opposite direction. It was fun at first, now it is just frustrating.

Maybe a new bike would be better.

We really locked down the spending the past few months, the last year and a half really. I have to fight the temptation to splurge on convenience items now. Of course, what would be best is to just put the money in savings; but, what kind of fun is that! Never worry, reason will prevail, ho hum.

Title by Phil Collins

A Day In The Life

Amy was out here the weekend before last. She got the whirlwind tour of Westhampton, Quogue, Riverhead, Baiting Hollow and the major roads in Islip, Ronkonkama, Mastic and Shirley.

On Saturday, we drove around the area, enjoyed champagne, chocolates and strawberries in our room and had an insanely expensive dinner at Q in Quogue Saturday night.

On Sunday, we shopped at Tanger Mall in Riverhead, dropped in on a few open houses and spent a good portion of the day just hanging out in our room.

Here is some marriage advice from a long-distance husband; never take for granted the time just sitting in a room together.

Title by The Beatles

Jimi Thing

It's Sunday. This is traditionally what I consider "Family Day". It is the one day a week that I reserve for just us. After church, if there is nothing already planned, just about anything goes. We've been known to end up as far as the Mississippi River on some Sunday road trips, Cave of the Mounds in Blue Mound, WI (yes, Milwaukeeans, that is where Blue Mound Road eventually gets to), IKEA at Woodfield Mall, Chicago Museum of Science and Industry, Two Rivers for ice cream sundaes. We, generally, travel very well together. It is good family time. We can also just spend the day at home hanging out.

Long Island will give us new "Sunday Explorers" territory. It is about 120 miles long and 15 to 20 miles wide. There is, of course, NYC at the west end. There are vineyards, shopping and plenty of water and beaches at the east end. In between is what really amounts to one big suburb for NYC. It is similar to what the Milwaukee/Chicago I94 corridor looks like now or the Denver/Colorado Springs I25 corridor is beginning to look or pick your 45 to 60 mile stretch out of any major metropolitan area.

It has been a lazy weekend for me. I've taken to squatting in the surprisingly few coffee shops around the area. My favorite remains Sunset Café in Westhampton, though I think the girls might start to think me a bit creepy. You know me; I'll strike up a chat with anyone. In anticipation, I found another bakery/coffee shop in Riverhead yesterday. They have a nice comfy couch in the corner that keeps me away from the staff, though the coffee isn't nearly as good. I'll move between them until I find another to throw in the mix.

Surprisingly, there are no coffee shops in South Hampton to speak of. It would have been fun to watch the parade of people there over the rim of a latte. East Hampton, where the stars all hang out, is a long drive at 45 minutes or more for a cup of coffee.

There are, of course, the obligatory Starbucks. However, I refuse to pay good money for mediocre coffee and then have to pay $20 or more for monthly Wi-Fi. "Free the Internet", that's my motto.

Title by Dave Matthews Band

Suddenly I See

This may be old news for some of you.

Starting the last week of August, the Ps and I opened negotiations to make my placement with them permanent. The negotiations wrapped up on September 13^th with me taking a contract to be their Household Manager. The benefit package is particularly nice for any industry and very good for this business.

For anyone keeping track, it was 18 weeks from when I left my job to being hired in a new industry. I am sure someday it will seem a speck of time. Right now, it feels like 18 months. The 2 months of training and the month of waiting seem like they took place so long ago. As I've stated before, some days on the property are a week and then the week flies by. It is also 18 weeks since I spent more than 2 days in my own home. I miss my space.

Ma cherè and I put all of our faith in this being the right course of action. I still feel this is where I am supposed to be. I truly enjoy what I am doing. Do not get me wrong; it is still work. There are really good days and really bad days. There are days I go to my room wiped and whipped. 10 to 12 hour days are the norm. There have been a few 14s and just as few 8s. This is management, after all.

There is still a lot of work to be done to reunite our family. I will also have to mend the stress my being gone so long has placed on the Ts and our family.

Next up, of course, is relocating ma cherè and the Ts to Long Island.

Title by K.T. Tunstal

Be Our Guest

I know some of you are curious what my day is like. The Ps entertained 12 guests for dinner recently. Like any household, there is plenty of preparation that goes into a dinner event. This usually starts well before the day of the party. Here is what entertainment day is like.

The event was scheduled to begin around 7:00 with dinner at 7:30. My day started at Noon.
Two round tables, a 7 top and an 8 top were used. The 7 was a bit crowded. For service flow it is customary to keep a minimum of 24 inches from center of plate to center of plate. (Yes, 24 inch on center!). However, the 7 top worked better than a 6 at one table and 9 seated at the other for other reasons.

One each of two different dinner settings were templated by Mrs. P the night before. This gave me the visual of what all the settings would look like. The two settings were alternated between seats at both tables.

Wine was moved from the cold cellar to the refrigerator for proper chilling first thing. There was a pre-dinner white plus a white and red served with dinner. A sauterne was served with dessert.
Next came preparation for setting the table.

White & red wine glasses plus water stemware was pulled, washed and staged for setting.
Silverware was pulled, washed and staged for setting.

Chasers, main course plates, appetizer plates, salad bowls and bread & butter plates were pulled, washed and staged for setting.

The linens were washed, dried until just damp and then pressed on Thursday (5 hours, gads my back hurt on Friday!)

Bar glasses were pulled, washed and staged for the bar. Wine decanters were pulled, washed and staged for the bar.

Serving dishes for the appetizer, salad & main course service were pulled, washed and staged in the kitchen for service.

On to flower settings. Mrs. P decided on sunflowers as the center piece for each table and 2 other tables in the room. We cut them very short and used pebbles and water in 12 inch vases. With her help, it looked very nice.

Next came setting the table. By now, you should have the impression this in not George Webb with the silver wrapped in a paper napkin. It took 90 minutes or so to get the 2 tables dressed and set to the proper standard. It was time well spent for the hosts received compliments later that evening.

Next I stocked the bar, filled the beverage refrigerator, setup drink garnishes, ice bucket, etc.
I made a quick pass through the entertainment spaces to straighten up, took out the garbage. I then took a short break and waited the next 10 minutes for the caterers and 2 extra staff to arrive at 6.

Did I mention the flood in the furnace room and the HVAC emergency service call in the middle of the afternoon? I wet-vac'd two and a half gallons of water off the floor and called to the vampires of emergency service. 1 second to blow some algae out of the dehumidifier line. I won't even tell you how much they charged. They should be ashamed! Total time was one precious hour. All the best laid plans, etc.; good thing I had time in the schedule for an extra hour for things like the bar and the flowers (which I forgot about) and one more hour for contingencies.

Starkey does have an excellent form. We used it during the weeks leading up to our formal dinners. I pulled it out the morning of the event. Next time, I will use the bloody form well before the day of the event to make sure these things are accounted for. That should save me over an hour on entertainment day.

Dinner went very well. We had some hiccups and could have used one more person, but it was a great effort by the team considering it was all our first time doing this together.

The Ledge, part II

The funny thing about blog postings is they can be forever. Blogger offers the ability to edit or even delete entire posts. However, in the interest of being somewhat professional, I decided at the beginning that self-censorship was not for me. What is stated here, stays on the record.

It would appear I have been found out by my friend. They are less than pleased with me. I must say for the record, however, that they proved me wrong. They were able to walk away. They were able to move beyond the environment. I underestimated their ability and owe them an apology. I will try to give my friends better credit than that going forward.

I will post an update on the job and family situation in the morning. Thanks everyone for your patience.

Living Loving Maid

I am starting the search for a housekeeper. The environment here calls for at least one and probably two more staff people to properly cover the service standards. This will be a challenge for me. While I have participated in the hiring process at a company level, this will be my first foray into hiring for a home.

This is one of the training gaps in the Starkey curriculum. We were given plenty of training in formal dining preparation and service, the "Ballet of Service", (see me in my penguin costume); however, the training and roll playing for the hiring of new staff was woefully small in comparison.

I am learning that job and work expectations are very different for domestic workers and their employees. This is particularly true when dealing with immigrant workers. My middle-class expectations for what a work day or work week looks like do not necessarily apply to this niche. I do not mean to suggest my principals, or I by extension, will be unfair. I will just have to be careful to find the balance that offers the workers dignity and balance to their job with the need to get the job done to the service levels of my principals. Sounds easy…right?

By the way, you have to love pulling out Led Zeppelin once in a while. Now I'll have that song going through my head all day. "Livin', lovin', she's just a woman…"