Hit the Road Jack

Hello, my friends, it has been a long time. Several of you have asked me to start posting again. Unfortunately, today's post will be a sad one.
I have always considered myself blessed because I have 2 best friends, Charles Sheperd and Eric Steingraeber. I have only once had to pick one ahead of the other and that was for Best Man at my wedding, Eric. I wished I could have named them both. Charles made up for it by introducing himself as the lover I left to marry ma chere.
To be sure, our relationship never went THAT far. But I can assure you, I loved him deeply. Chuck and I met at UW-Milwaukee. We were both in our first freshman year. Since we lived relatively close to each other, Chuck would give me rides to and from school. We would race down Capital Drive in the far right lane or later, for reasoning only Chuck could comprehend, through rush hour traffic downtown. "The traffic is better on the expressway," he would reason." It only comes at you from ahead and behind."
Those years would include early morning racquetball sessions and late nights on North Ave, Water Street and the 3rd Ward. Six foot five is very easy to find in a bar. "Never leave your wingman." Though, he made a great target on the racquetball court. Oi, the welts on his back and legs. Not to worry, he knew how to serve them back as well.
We were two more 2nd Floor Lounge rats majoring in Time Mismanagement and Space Occupation.
"It is better to be pissed off than pissed on...just ask Chuck."
The Road Runner Biff party.
11 PM Chicago road trips from RCs.
10 PM Burrito runs to Madison.
"Gurgles and Slash" at Summerfest. Sting, Bruce Hornsby, Indigo Girls, Kenny Loggins, Muddy Waters, Beach Boys, Pat McCurdy "Sex & Beer", Comedy Sportz.
Dancing at Park Avenue.
Smurfs at Arts.
Rumpleminz...well anywhere.
"Kindly remove the dart from my thigh."
Wild Turkey Night - 5 bars, 22 years, countless bottles of Wild Turkey and the best friends time can manage.
Chuck helped me get my driver's license. We sped from UW to the old Fond du Lac Driver's Center in 15 minutes laughing the whole time at the great irony. That same car went airborne over the tracks in Waukesha with Chuck at the wheel and me hanging on for dear life.
The Tercel, "starts with 'T', ends in 'LOVE'."
It was that car that started the challenge of the Bolero. Chuck wanted to prove that we could make it from UW to his house in one playing of the Bolero, 15 minutes and 40 seconds. He eventually pulled it off. We later insisted that one can get anywhere in Milwaukee in one Bolero. Try it!
Chuck was with me when ma chere and I started "going out".
I was with Chuck the day his mother died.
Chuck was with me on my wedding day.
Chuck and his father opened their home to me so I could finish college while ma chere and T1 remained with her parents. Their graciousness allowed me to get my degree and keep an impossible UPS work schedule.
I was with Chuck the day he met his beautiful wife. We both had a good feeling about her. I am so glad for their blessed union. I was honored to be in their wedding party.
God gave me the privilege of having Chuck in my life. My life is so much richer because of him. Charles died today, on Father's Day. He was playing with his precious daughters when he passed out from a blood clot in his lungs. He never fully recovered.
Rest in peace, Chuck, you will be missed.

Hammer and a Nail

It is back to Chaos Wednesdays this week. There are eight different
crews doing everything from carpentry and painting to masonry and
landscaping.

I only seem to have to remember my New Testament names to call any of
these guys, Peter, Paul, James, 2 no 3 Joes. Heck, there is even a
Chris for good measure.

Title by: The Indigo Girls
Sent from my iPhone

Cum On Feel the Noize

It is that time of the year, again. SPRING BLITZ!!

It is one of just a few times a year when the Ps are out way long enough for us to do some serious damage (read: Deep Cleaning). This year we are celebrating variations on the theme of Painting. The exterior of the Hamptons house is getting a pressure wash and the trim painted. The interior of the house and the New York City apartment are getting touched up, too.

The landscapers are cleaning out yard, edging and primping the property, despite the small snow piles that are stubbornly not going away. And, the pool company is making repairs to the tile, coping and filtration system

For those keeping count, that's 3 painting crews of 4-6 guys, 4 landscapers, 2 masons and my maintenance guy. I feel like I am on the wrong side of the walls at Helm's Deep.

Next week should be a bit quieter. It will take the "Charge of the House Brigade" to put everything back in its place.

Now, if I could just get the leaf blowers and power washer to hum in opposing frequencies. Where are those earplugs?

Title by: Quiet Riot

Give Me a Little More Time

I am knocking around the idea of writing a book. I know that I am not much of a writer; frankly, I am an unranked amateur. However, I look around the industry and all I see are a lot of housekeeping books. Housekeeping is only one of many components that make up the job of House Manager. There are also administrative, kitchen and maintenance duties to name just a few.
The thing is, once you get an understanding of the processes involved, there are many many ways to tackle the job, just like there are dozens of books that will "teach" you how to use Microsoft Word or "Make a Million on Ebay".
I now face a dilemma. Do I publish my ideas here first or do I stop writing here for a bit in order to get my ideas submitted? And, of course, my mind races with the "what-if" scenarios, like "what if" I forget to properly cite my resources?
In the meantime, things on the blog will be on the light side.

Title by: The Chairmen of the Board

Spare Me The Details

You do not need all this training and experience to be a good HM. There is a definite advantage to being trained in some field that requires organizational skills. The ability to think "on your feet" and prioritize tasks and issues is invaluable.
The idea is to break the "environment" down into smaller manageable pieces. At a macro level, the environment is all the places, people and things that are under the aegis of the principal(s). In other words, all the properties, staff, guests, pets, vehicles, etc. that the principals call their own. At some point, you will have to know the details of all these things; each seeming detail revealing that more information can be gathered.

Title by: The Offspring

What The Butler Saw

The people we provide service for are the principal(s). For readers of this blog, the Ps are my principals.) Clever how their last name starts with "P", n'est ce pas?)

I refer to my peers in the trade by the title House Manager. It is a well accepted title by many including principals and placement agencies. We can collectively be called Butler, Major Domo or Estate Manager as well. Companion, Personal Assistant and Valet are also titles used but are generally more specialized in personal care for the principals. I will elaborate more on that distinction later.

Title by: Squeeze

Introduction

So by popular demand, a bit about being a House Manager. First, let me acknowledge my sources and my experience.

I received my Certified Household Manager certificate from Starkey International in July 2007.

I have worked restaurants, resorts and hotels. I have several years experience in a kitchen that served both restaurant and banquet customers. I have served in formal dining rooms as waiter and sommelier (though, frankly I prefer to drink the stuff rather than sell it), banquet server, maitre'd, bartender, even a brief stint as a DJ. I have worked the front desk, reservationist, housekeeping, bellhop, pool attendant, water-ski instructor, chauffeur, concierge and just about every position in a movie theater except projectionist. My mother shared her wonderful skills in preparing French, and indeed International, cuisine and entertaining every guest as though they were an ambassador.

I have long hard-earned years of retail service experience. I can fold anything from a woman's silk shell to a 8 foot by 8 foot braided rug. (Do not even get me started about folding clothes and US Navy boot-camp.) I can stand at a register for countless hours with nothing to drink or eat, greeting every customer with a smile in my voice and balance my till to the penny at the end of my shift. I can tell you about the features and benefits of computers, well constructed furniture, washers & dryers and air conditioners. I have worked for a 4-seat answering service and a 300-seat mutual fund call center. I was a registered rep (Series 6 & 63).

I have assisted in the management of rental and condominium properties. I have done maintenance, housekeeping, grounds keeping and neighbor relations. I even had the thankless job of Secretary & Treasurer for our Owners' Association. (Yes, the condo is STILL for sale.)

My experience in information technology has been as a business analyst both on the IT side of the shop and the "Business" side. Project managers will see Project Management Institute type references in here. Process managers will see parts of the Rational Unified Development ("who"/"how") and Waterfall processes for software development. There is even a bit of requirements training via Requirements Quest. I have also been working on and supporting computers since the Commodore 64 only had a tape drive.

But, as they say, enough about me...

Title by: Panic! At The Disco

The Adventure

One of the things we are learning about living east of New York City, but still in the shadow of the city, is dealing with the crowds. My line to the Ts is, "If even just 1% of the population has the same idea as we do, that means 80,000 are bound to be going where we want to be."

We have learned through trial and error that
You need to be at the movie theater at least 60 minutes before show time or earlier if it is a prime time or first weekend.
You cannot travel to, through nor around New York City and make "good time" between the hours of 7 AM – 10 AM and 3 PM – 8 PM, including weekends. (Even outside those times is questionable.) It takes 1 hour to get from one side of New York to the other traveling east to west or return on a very very good day.
Parking in Manhattan is an oxymoron.
The New Jersey Turnpike is either a shoot or a ladder. When it is moving, you better be ready to do 80 MPH. When it is clogged, you better have packed at least 1 extra meal.
The mass-media and reports are correct, New York City drivers are rude, loud and obnoxious. (I fit right in, hahaha.)
If you think Waukesha County is the only place where 10 MPH under the speed limit is the norm in the far left lane, remember that the country was mostly settled from East to West. They had to come from somewhere and ALL their relatives are still out here, every last slow poke Uncle, Aunt and cousin.

Title by: Angels & Airwaves

Alice's Restaurant

Ma chere and the Ts all settled on Long Island. I have been on the job with the Ps for 16 months. It is safe to say that the transition that was a contributing factor for this blog is complete. I have reached a point with this blog where I am not sure where I should go next. When I started blogging, I thought I might want to continue to write even after I made the transition to my new career. Now, I find myself wondering if anyone really cares to hear yet another vapid rant on social, political and religious issues.

I am thinking about starting a series on what Estate/House Managers do starting with the basics. This sort of follows the idea of "Write What You Know". I want to make sure I leave it generic enough so as to not step on anyone's intellectual property. I have been working on the idea for the last few months. I will try to come up with something soon.

Title by: Arlo Guthrie

Quand On n'A Que L'Amour

Wow, it has been a month. Sorry about that. The holidays just flew by this year.

Here is a recap, briefly I promise, of the past few weeks.

Van broke - $3000

Thanksgiving – Philadelphia with ma chere, the Ts and my sister and some charming friends

Christmas – Washington, DC with ma chere, the Ts, my sister and some charming friends

Vacation – R&R in Washington, DC and Baiting Hollow

New Year's – Baiting Hollow

For those that like the "Webster's Unabridged", here is the filler.

A couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, the transmission on our van stopped working. By "stopped working", I mean one second we are doing 55 on Sound Avenue heading for Greeenport and the next we are coasting to a stop with no power from the engine reaching the wheels. Thankfully, we have some fantastic friends that live not too far from where we were stranded. Their eldest son gave ma Chere and T3 a ride back to our house while I waited for the tow from AAA.

In the course of one of my conversations with AAA over the fact that the tow was 45 minutes late, I was called a "dumb-ass" by one of the Wisconsin representatives. I kid you not, she said, "DUMB ASS" as she put me on hold. Needless to say, I was livid, fit-to-be-tied, died in the wool ticked off. Of course, while AAA was somewhat apologetic, I never heard back from any of the supervisors that claimed they would get to the bottom of it. I guess in this economy, they can afford to give customers away.

Two weeks later and a few thousand dollars the van was back in our driveway.

Thanksgiving was spent with my sister in Philadelphia. She actually lives in Washington, DC but Phili is a good spot in between Washington, DC and Long Island, NY. We had a wonderfully prepared meal, compliments to my sister and ma chere. We spent some time at Reading Station on Friday before heading back to Long Island. There is a great food market there with good eats and great grocery deals.

The situation with the van put a damper on our Christmas preparations. We also decided that the trip back to Milwaukee would be too expensive and too hard on the new transmission. Ma chere made the most of it by setting out the decorations earlier than we normally set them out. The house looks very nice all dressed up for the holidays. Next year, I will try my hand at outdoor decorations.

I had my 5 year colonoscopy the Monday before Christmas. The preparation for that is always worse than the actual procedure. However, having to wait an additional 2 hours because the doctor was behind schedule almost constitutes cruel and unusual punishment. The good news is everything came back clean and clear. And, I will not have to worry about it again until 2013. T1 will be a senior at that point, a camera up my backside might seem like a vacation then.

We enjoyed a nice service at church on Christmas Eve. I had the pleasure and honor of doing the Old Testament and Epistle readings for the candle service.

After the kids came downstairs on Christmas Day, we ate a quick breakfast and headed down the Washington, DC. It is about 320 miles from our place to my sister's. It takes about 6 hours. We celebrated Christmas dinner near Bethesda with a charming couple and their children. They are friends of my sister's from the first time she lived in DC. The rest of the weekend was spent in tourist mode. We spent time at the Museum of the American Indian, Arlington Cemetery, the National Zoo and Annapolis. We got back to Baiting Hollow Sunday afternoon and did leave until Tuesday morning.

A winter storm hit the east coast on Tuesday during the day. By Midwest standards, it was relatively small except that the temperature dropped from 35 to 20 while it was still snowing. The roads were all covered with black ice. The New Year's party was cancelled, leaving ma chere, Ts 2 & 3 and I with a cheese and sausage platter and chocolate mousse for 16. We found a way to survive until Midnight.

We passed the rest of the week with a run into Manhattan to visit the American Museum of Natural History on Friday. It was a nice way for ma chere and I to pass our 16th anniversary. Saturday was T3's 7th birthday. We moved all the furniture around in the living room, set it up "theater-style" and watched movies with an obcene amount of hors d'ourves.

And that, as they say, was the month in round up. Pretty generic stuff really. Just living the middle-class dream.

Title by: Jacques Brel