I Believe In Father Christmas

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, And try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy (not forward) this entire email and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to You. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, have fun. Just 11 days of Christmas left.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Gift bags
2. Real tree or Artificial? The smell of a fresh cut tree, Yummy. The ease of an artificial, spectacular.
3. When do you put up the tree? Mid December.
4. When do you take the tree down? Epiphany, there are 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
5. Favorite gift received as a child? Trains and slot cars (I know that's 2, but they were setup together!)
6. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes
7. Hardest person to buy for? Ma chere
8. Easiest person to buy for? My dad
9. Mail or email Christmas cards? I prefer to receive them in the mail ;-)
10. Ever recycled a Christmas present? No
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I can't remember what I got last year, good or bad.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Bells of Saint Mary, White Christmas
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I gave up shopping 14 years, 11 months and 24 days ago.
14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Chocolate, any shape, any size.
15. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear

16. Favorite Christmas songs? Secular: I Believe In Father Christmas Religious: What Child Is This?

17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? This year, neither
18. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Yes
19. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel
20. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Both
21. Most annoying thing about this time of year? "Last Minute Shoppers Could Save Christmas" headlines. Like shopping is all that we stand to loose.
22. Favorite ornament theme or color? Gold
24. What do you want for Christmas this year? To see my family
25. Who is most likely to respond to this? I get so few comments, ma chere, I guess
26. Who is least likely to respond to this? Julia Sweeney
Enjoy the season!

New York Minute

My housekeepers both left on Thursday. One worked one day. The other never really got started. They each gave a number of reasons, but I believe it boiled down to buyers remorse.

The first woman panicked when she realized she would have to leave the comfort of being a chambermaid and actually work harder for her money than she was used to.

The other one thought she might slip by without my noticing her documents were expired. She could have worked that out if it weren't for the fact that she really preferred to work in Manhattan, not the Hamptons. She probably would not have made the summer anyway.

What does a guy have to do to catch a break in this city!

Title by Don Henley

Pretty House for Sale

Our biggest bogeyman right now is our condo. We really have to find a way to get it sold or occupied. The housing market right now is so soft that no one is even looking. Add to that Christmas and a tightening economy, I am not sure when the place will sell. It is a great townhouse; we just need to get some traffic. Heck, any traffic at this point would be a positive thing.

The New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and many real-estate and financial market gurus are bearish, to say the least, on the current real-estate market. Some are predicting things will not get better for the low end of the market until sometime in 2009 or as late as 2010.

Too many sellers, not enough creditors, property values declining from unrealized highs...how do you possibly plan for this type of thing when you change careers?

Title by Charlie Pride

Heart With No Companion

I think I have stated before that ma chère and I use just about every technology available to stay connected. We have "land lines", mobile phones, web-cams, instant messaging, text messaging, blogs, even the occasional letter and card (I know, how quaint). I use these tools to stay in touch with just about everyone now days. As the commercial suggests, I am living in "Saint Quenver Milhattan". Welcome to my network.

I am getting to the point, however, where phone, web-cams, IM and SMS isn't enough. Virtualization is great, do not get me wrong. It does provide quick and near real-time communication with my family and friends. However, it is "virtual", a similarity of reality. I am losing my patience in pretending it is enough to stay connected this way. Eventually, I long for a face to face conversation with a kindred spirit. To touch, to smell, to relish in the other senses beyond sight and hearing.

The Ps try to help, bless them. But, I really cannot feed my need for companionship from them. My job is to be familiar, not family. They are wonderful people. I could hang with them for a long time. However, as long as I am their employee I cannot cross that boundary. That boundary is there for both parties' protection.

Title by Leonard Cohen

Long Time Comin'

I FINALLY hired 2 housekeepers. They both start this week. I really hope these two work out. It has taken 4 agencies, over 40 interviews, 10 weeks and 1 false start to get to this point.

Title by Bruce Springsteen

Early in the Morning

Some of you might be wondering what a day in the house is like. These are some of the Daily Tasks the staff must do each and everyday.

6:30 - 7:00 Breakfast prep and service for early risers
7:30 Walk the dogs
7:45 Feed the dogs
8:00 - 8:30 Breakfast prep and service for Mr. P
9:00 Walk the grounds
10:00 Clean coffee service
11:00 Confirm lunch plans
12:00 Walk the dogs
12:30 - 1:00 Lunch prep and service (if required)
4:00 Confirm dinner plans
4:30 Feed the dogs
5:00 Walk the dogs
5:15 - 7:00 Dinner prep and service (if required)
7:00 Take the trash out, close the gates
9:30 Walk the dogs

The rest of the day is filled with Administration, Housekeeping, Culinary, Clothing & Laundry, Entertainment, Maintenance, Property & Grounds, Travel & Transportation, Safety and Protection and Personal Care for the Ps, their guests and pets.

For instance, I market for each property once or twice a week (culinary). House bills are recorded and paid once per week or more (administration). The houseman is tasked with priority projects once per week (maintenance). You get the point.

Title by Robert Palmer

Thank You

Ma Chère,

I don't know the last time I stopped to say thank you.

Thank you for being my best companion through all our crazy paths.

Thank you for our wonderful children. Their love for you, their talents and their faith are all testaments to you, to your love and to your many many sacrifices.

Thank you for standing tall, shoulders back and facing our challenges not with a "why me?" but rather with a "how do?" attitude.

I love you for so many reasons in so many ways. You are intelligent, sensitive and caring. You are beautiful.

Most of all, thank you for being my wife.

TMTT,
Mr. S

Title by Dido

American Anthem

It is Veterans' Day. It is my favorite secular holiday. Independence Day is close, but that just celebrates a single moment. Granted, it is a great moment; however, Veterans' Day is a celebration of 30 million moments of commitment. 30 million men and women that had the conviction to do what is necessary to protect that one moment 231 years ago.
God Bless You All. Thank You.
Title by Norah Jones (check out the video, it favors the Ground Pounders, but is poignant none-the-less)

Birthday

It's pouring rain and 40 degrees. I heard somewhere that, "God is in the rain." I'm not sure what that means, but it is a reassuring thought.

It reminds me of a story. A Buddhist monk was challenged by a journalist to give an example of where to find the Buddha. The monk offered in response a challenge. He asked the journalist instead show the monk where not to find the Buddha. "The Buddha is in the rain."

It is my birthday and I am drinking, alone. It is every bit not as fun as advertised. No pity party for me, though. I did have a rather fun mobile text birthday party with 4 people. Thank you Mr B, Ms S, Ms L and ma cherè. It was brief, but very enjoyable. It sounds like all the girls took the challenge to the fullest and partied well into the night.

Title by The Beatles

Finest Worksong

Changing careers is a difficult task. It is easy to think that once you have stepped on the path, the rest of the trip follows naturally. In my case, that has been mostly true. There have been, and of course will be, points where I reconsider the decision to change careers. Like just about everyone else, I ask myself if I should be working at what I am working at. I am confident that the decisions made in April are still valid.
That is not to say that there are not difficulties in my work. Some people get confused when they hear me speaking of the challenges in my day to day. It is, after all, still a job. There will be difficult times, challenges, conflict, etc.
I also have to be careful to separate the work challenges from the challenges of relocation and separation. Am I having a bad day at work because of issues there or am I carrying too much of my personal life (or severe lack of it right now) to the job with me? This question is relevant for anyone that is working; however, up until now, I have been blessed with a relatively stable personal life.

Title by R.E.M.

On the Street Where You Live

The goal is to sell the house before the end of the year and move the family between school semesters. We listed the house 4 weeks ago. There has been a disappointing goose egg for showings.

I know this is normally a rough time of the year to sell a house. I know it is a soft real estate market. I know that credit is hard to get for the people that would move into our neighborhood. The collapse of sub-prime lenders has been in the news for at least the last 3 months.

We have to sell the house before the move. Thankfully, all the facts above can turn to our favor once the house is sold. I should be able to find a place to rent rather quickly here once we have a firm date to move the family.

Ma cherè and I agreed at the beginning of the school year that once the Things start a semester, that is where they finish the semester. We might have to reconsider that decision if the house does not sell until the spring.

Title by Lerner & Loewe

Irresistible Targets

I finally got home again this weekend. It had been a long time, 4 weeks. It is so hard to get out of the van after only 44 hours on the ground with the family. I know someday soon there will be a time where I will not even have an escape from them and that is a good thing because Ms. L assured me so. The day cannot come too soon.

Title by John Stewart

Give a Little Bit

I am sorry for the long lapse in postings. I have been very busy with long work days and few real days off for recovery. I spent this weekend "caved up" in my room. I needed a good rest.
I will post more in the coming days. I just wanted everyone to know I am alive and well. Autumn in Long Island is beautiful. I need to get my sweaters out here. The breeze today was fall and salt air.

Title by Supertramp (no, not the Goo Goo Dolls)

In the News

An interesting article and program.

View article...

I particularly liked this quote, "'I didn't say (emigrating) was the wrong thing to do,' he replies. 'But there are things that you don't want to do, that are very hard to do, that you should do.'"

Forward, not straight.

I Get the Job Done

I cannot seem to get staff. It is frustrating for both me and the Ps. I need a part-time person for the city and a full-time person in the Hamptons. I have 4 placement agencies that specialize in domestics and one that provides housekeeping services plus several professional contacts beating the proverbial grass. All this, and I've only interviewed 5 or so candidates. I spent the day Thursday with someone I wanted to hire. She called me on Friday and turned down the job. She does not want to make the early morning commute into Manhattan; not safe enough apparently.

I am stuck on how else to generate leads for interviewing. The Ps are paying me way too much to be a housekeeper and dog-walker. Plus, the job is just not getting done. I personally cannot cover 7 days in the Hamptons plus another 5 days in the city per week. What I am doing is good work, but it is not enough.

Title by Big Daddy Kane

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Last night found me once again preparing to board a flight back to New York. It's been 9 weeks since I first left for the Hamptons. I am facing some hard challenges both at home and at work.

It is getting harder to get back on the plane to go back to work. The breaks are great, almost enough. We have to nail down the housing situation, quickly. The boys are resilient, but I do not want to take advantage of their hearts and up-bringing too much longer. 21 weeks and counting of this and counting.

Work is creeping into my personal life more and more. I have to work on keeping that boundary better. My role is the equivalent of a director or upper level manager in the corporate world. I understand that the hours will be long, the demands more intense and the performance expectations higher. Being live-in, however, means there is much less chance to escape the work environment. I need to get my staffing situation under control, if only to be able to relax on my days off knowing service is being provided to the Ps and work is getting done around the property.

Title by U2

Smells Like Teen Spirit

Here is some advice to anyone new to propane. Suppliers put an additive in the gas that smells awful went burnt. The additive sinks to the bottom of the tank. It then burns off if the tank reaches empty.

If you smell propane gas in your kitchen, please check the gas levels first. Then call your supplier. Chances are pretty good that unless you are remodeling you are running out of propane.

Title by Nirvana

Just Like My Father

T1 got into some serious trouble at school the other day. He was confused by the difference between being in control versus being independent. He was so busy arguing and throwing attitude at teachers, he eventually not only lost control of the situation but control of himself as well.

I can already hear some of you thinking, "Here it begins…This is a separation thing. The boy needs attention." That might be some of it. Let us remember, though, that he is 12 going on 28. Besides, I see this as a positive thing. T1 is learning to deal with things on his own. He would go through this no matter if I were at home or not. The important thing is he is surrounded by people that know him, love him and with momentary self-inflicted exceptions respect him.

He now understands a little bit better that the price of taking help is not paid for by loss of independence. I am not so naïve that he gets it completely; however, a day or two out of class on suspension will certainly give him some time to mull it over.

Title by The Violent Femmes

Folsom Prison Blues

New York Times - National

College Dwellers Outnumber the Imprisoned

By SAM ROBERTS

Published: September 27, 2007

In a reversal from 2000, more Americans over all now live in college dormitories than in prisons.

What else could I possibly add to that.

Title by Johnny Cash

New York State of Mind

I know it is weird, but watching TV shows about New York while looking out my window at Manhattan is sort of cool, geeky granted, but cool none the less.

Title by Billy Joel

In the Air Tonight

I'm thinking about picking up a Verizon AirCard. It strikes me as terribly convenient to be anywhere and have computer access to the internet. Unfortunately, it is still very pricey.

What I really need (nudge nudge wink wink) is a decent GPS. I get turned around in these subdivisions and neighborhoods here and suddenly find myself on a new highway going in the opposite direction. It was fun at first, now it is just frustrating.

Maybe a new bike would be better.

We really locked down the spending the past few months, the last year and a half really. I have to fight the temptation to splurge on convenience items now. Of course, what would be best is to just put the money in savings; but, what kind of fun is that! Never worry, reason will prevail, ho hum.

Title by Phil Collins

A Day In The Life

Amy was out here the weekend before last. She got the whirlwind tour of Westhampton, Quogue, Riverhead, Baiting Hollow and the major roads in Islip, Ronkonkama, Mastic and Shirley.

On Saturday, we drove around the area, enjoyed champagne, chocolates and strawberries in our room and had an insanely expensive dinner at Q in Quogue Saturday night.

On Sunday, we shopped at Tanger Mall in Riverhead, dropped in on a few open houses and spent a good portion of the day just hanging out in our room.

Here is some marriage advice from a long-distance husband; never take for granted the time just sitting in a room together.

Title by The Beatles

Jimi Thing

It's Sunday. This is traditionally what I consider "Family Day". It is the one day a week that I reserve for just us. After church, if there is nothing already planned, just about anything goes. We've been known to end up as far as the Mississippi River on some Sunday road trips, Cave of the Mounds in Blue Mound, WI (yes, Milwaukeeans, that is where Blue Mound Road eventually gets to), IKEA at Woodfield Mall, Chicago Museum of Science and Industry, Two Rivers for ice cream sundaes. We, generally, travel very well together. It is good family time. We can also just spend the day at home hanging out.

Long Island will give us new "Sunday Explorers" territory. It is about 120 miles long and 15 to 20 miles wide. There is, of course, NYC at the west end. There are vineyards, shopping and plenty of water and beaches at the east end. In between is what really amounts to one big suburb for NYC. It is similar to what the Milwaukee/Chicago I94 corridor looks like now or the Denver/Colorado Springs I25 corridor is beginning to look or pick your 45 to 60 mile stretch out of any major metropolitan area.

It has been a lazy weekend for me. I've taken to squatting in the surprisingly few coffee shops around the area. My favorite remains Sunset Café in Westhampton, though I think the girls might start to think me a bit creepy. You know me; I'll strike up a chat with anyone. In anticipation, I found another bakery/coffee shop in Riverhead yesterday. They have a nice comfy couch in the corner that keeps me away from the staff, though the coffee isn't nearly as good. I'll move between them until I find another to throw in the mix.

Surprisingly, there are no coffee shops in South Hampton to speak of. It would have been fun to watch the parade of people there over the rim of a latte. East Hampton, where the stars all hang out, is a long drive at 45 minutes or more for a cup of coffee.

There are, of course, the obligatory Starbucks. However, I refuse to pay good money for mediocre coffee and then have to pay $20 or more for monthly Wi-Fi. "Free the Internet", that's my motto.

Title by Dave Matthews Band

Suddenly I See

This may be old news for some of you.

Starting the last week of August, the Ps and I opened negotiations to make my placement with them permanent. The negotiations wrapped up on September 13^th with me taking a contract to be their Household Manager. The benefit package is particularly nice for any industry and very good for this business.

For anyone keeping track, it was 18 weeks from when I left my job to being hired in a new industry. I am sure someday it will seem a speck of time. Right now, it feels like 18 months. The 2 months of training and the month of waiting seem like they took place so long ago. As I've stated before, some days on the property are a week and then the week flies by. It is also 18 weeks since I spent more than 2 days in my own home. I miss my space.

Ma cherè and I put all of our faith in this being the right course of action. I still feel this is where I am supposed to be. I truly enjoy what I am doing. Do not get me wrong; it is still work. There are really good days and really bad days. There are days I go to my room wiped and whipped. 10 to 12 hour days are the norm. There have been a few 14s and just as few 8s. This is management, after all.

There is still a lot of work to be done to reunite our family. I will also have to mend the stress my being gone so long has placed on the Ts and our family.

Next up, of course, is relocating ma cherè and the Ts to Long Island.

Title by K.T. Tunstal

Be Our Guest

I know some of you are curious what my day is like. The Ps entertained 12 guests for dinner recently. Like any household, there is plenty of preparation that goes into a dinner event. This usually starts well before the day of the party. Here is what entertainment day is like.

The event was scheduled to begin around 7:00 with dinner at 7:30. My day started at Noon.
Two round tables, a 7 top and an 8 top were used. The 7 was a bit crowded. For service flow it is customary to keep a minimum of 24 inches from center of plate to center of plate. (Yes, 24 inch on center!). However, the 7 top worked better than a 6 at one table and 9 seated at the other for other reasons.

One each of two different dinner settings were templated by Mrs. P the night before. This gave me the visual of what all the settings would look like. The two settings were alternated between seats at both tables.

Wine was moved from the cold cellar to the refrigerator for proper chilling first thing. There was a pre-dinner white plus a white and red served with dinner. A sauterne was served with dessert.
Next came preparation for setting the table.

White & red wine glasses plus water stemware was pulled, washed and staged for setting.
Silverware was pulled, washed and staged for setting.

Chasers, main course plates, appetizer plates, salad bowls and bread & butter plates were pulled, washed and staged for setting.

The linens were washed, dried until just damp and then pressed on Thursday (5 hours, gads my back hurt on Friday!)

Bar glasses were pulled, washed and staged for the bar. Wine decanters were pulled, washed and staged for the bar.

Serving dishes for the appetizer, salad & main course service were pulled, washed and staged in the kitchen for service.

On to flower settings. Mrs. P decided on sunflowers as the center piece for each table and 2 other tables in the room. We cut them very short and used pebbles and water in 12 inch vases. With her help, it looked very nice.

Next came setting the table. By now, you should have the impression this in not George Webb with the silver wrapped in a paper napkin. It took 90 minutes or so to get the 2 tables dressed and set to the proper standard. It was time well spent for the hosts received compliments later that evening.

Next I stocked the bar, filled the beverage refrigerator, setup drink garnishes, ice bucket, etc.
I made a quick pass through the entertainment spaces to straighten up, took out the garbage. I then took a short break and waited the next 10 minutes for the caterers and 2 extra staff to arrive at 6.

Did I mention the flood in the furnace room and the HVAC emergency service call in the middle of the afternoon? I wet-vac'd two and a half gallons of water off the floor and called to the vampires of emergency service. 1 second to blow some algae out of the dehumidifier line. I won't even tell you how much they charged. They should be ashamed! Total time was one precious hour. All the best laid plans, etc.; good thing I had time in the schedule for an extra hour for things like the bar and the flowers (which I forgot about) and one more hour for contingencies.

Starkey does have an excellent form. We used it during the weeks leading up to our formal dinners. I pulled it out the morning of the event. Next time, I will use the bloody form well before the day of the event to make sure these things are accounted for. That should save me over an hour on entertainment day.

Dinner went very well. We had some hiccups and could have used one more person, but it was a great effort by the team considering it was all our first time doing this together.

The Ledge, part II

The funny thing about blog postings is they can be forever. Blogger offers the ability to edit or even delete entire posts. However, in the interest of being somewhat professional, I decided at the beginning that self-censorship was not for me. What is stated here, stays on the record.

It would appear I have been found out by my friend. They are less than pleased with me. I must say for the record, however, that they proved me wrong. They were able to walk away. They were able to move beyond the environment. I underestimated their ability and owe them an apology. I will try to give my friends better credit than that going forward.

I will post an update on the job and family situation in the morning. Thanks everyone for your patience.

Living Loving Maid

I am starting the search for a housekeeper. The environment here calls for at least one and probably two more staff people to properly cover the service standards. This will be a challenge for me. While I have participated in the hiring process at a company level, this will be my first foray into hiring for a home.

This is one of the training gaps in the Starkey curriculum. We were given plenty of training in formal dining preparation and service, the "Ballet of Service", (see me in my penguin costume); however, the training and roll playing for the hiring of new staff was woefully small in comparison.

I am learning that job and work expectations are very different for domestic workers and their employees. This is particularly true when dealing with immigrant workers. My middle-class expectations for what a work day or work week looks like do not necessarily apply to this niche. I do not mean to suggest my principals, or I by extension, will be unfair. I will just have to be careful to find the balance that offers the workers dignity and balance to their job with the need to get the job done to the service levels of my principals. Sounds easy…right?

By the way, you have to love pulling out Led Zeppelin once in a while. Now I'll have that song going through my head all day. "Livin', lovin', she's just a woman…"

One is the lonliest number

The hardest part of this adventure for me, so far, has been dealing with the loneliness. It is the challenge of being in a house but not of the house. It is further compounded by not really having my own space here. My room is lovely, do not get me wrong; however, I am still a boarder.

I am not nearly pulled as thin as Denver. The stress of the education and people process out there was very different than here in LI. Also, there is more of a routine here. In Denver, we never knew what we were up for the evening until the end of the day. Plans really all depended on the day's experiences and our need to cope with them.

Here, I end up retreating through technology back to the places I love. My room is suddenly transformed into my living room or a back yard deck with a web cam and cell phone. I can even help ma chère with nightly devotions with the boys. Not a typical functional family, but it works as a temporary solution.

Wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend

This is terribly unusual for me. However, it fits the mold. I have a friend who might be in over their head. It involves substance abuse and the substance being used is crack cocaine.

Crack is a derivative of cocaine. The chemical make-up of cocaine is modified by putting the cocaine in a liquid baking soda mixture to unlock non-high inducing aspects from the base. This mixture is cooked down, a reduction of sorts to remove the liquid. The cake is then broken up into individual pieces or "rocks". This creates a highly concentrated drug with some moisture left in it. The name "crack" refers to the sound the rock makes as the moisture is steamed out. The added benefit is the rocks can be smoked instead of being inhaled through the nasal passages or injected, like other forms of cocaine. If you do not like needles or are afraid your septum will deteriorate over time, this is a great drug. Approximately 2% of the United States population over age 11 uses some form of cocaine.

The high from smoking crack starts in less than a minute and lasts approximately 10-15 minutes. The intensity and duration of the high lessens after each use. Crack's addictive qualities are nearly immediate. Statistics show that as many as 1 in 5 users of crack become chronic users after their first use. Continued use increases the risk of addiction. One possible reason for this is explained by how the drug induces a high. The drug inhibits the body's ability to process dopamine. This is a chemical in the body that regulates brain activity. It appears that the drug not only inhibits the processing of dopamine, it also changes the body's balance, sort of re-calibrating what the brain thinks the natural level of dopamine should be.

This isn't a corny email plea to pass on to 5 of your friends. Just send out some kind thoughts or a hopeful prayer. Worst case, we've spread a little sunshine. Also, if you are a parent, please talk to your children about this drug. Give them all the information they need to make an informed decision. They need to understand why they are saying "no". There are a ton of resources available on the web. Let Google do the walking for you.

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

The time alternates between fast forward and slow motion. A day can feel like a week and then a real week is finished.

We had another candidate in over last weekend. That meant another long week, though I knocked off around 1 p.m. on Saturday and worked from a great little coffee shop in Westhampton Beach. The task sheets for the first floor are all but complete. The tricky part will be to get the work scheduled into a reasonable amount of time and scheduled around the times the principals are not in the spaces.

I managed to get tickets to the Rufus Wainwright concert in Westhampton Beach on Saturday night. Rufus was everything I expected and more. He is flamboyantly gay, has an incredible voice and somehow manages to keep his vocal range during a live performance. The band was in mis-matched stripes. Rufus was in an over-the-top red and white striped suit jacket and slacks. He covered a lot from his latest album, though he managed a Judi Garland set before the intermission. His first encore, "Hallelujah", was a duet with his sister. The second piece was done a la Judi/Liza complete with choreography in tux jacket, black stockings and heels. Who knew he had great gams? He's in Milwaukee next Monday. Check him out if you have time.

Sunday found me taking the candidate to the airport at 5 a.m. I am looking forward to just one of 2 things. 2 days off or sleeping past 5 a.m. on my day off. No complaints, really, it is just the nature of the business.

I toured the south fork of Long Island on Sunday. I drove through Sag Harbor and saw the mega-yachts moored there. I also drove through East Hampton and South Hampton. Think Dells without salt water taffy and moccasins but with Tiffany's & Ralph Lauren instead. Oh, and hold the water parks, think polo fields. I was pretty beat and ended up at the Quogue Village beach later in the afternoon despite the 70 degree overcast weather. No improvement to my tan, but the nap helped.

I am settling into the routine of the house better this week. I cooked quite a bit early in the week, which was fun. We are also making improvements to the housekeeping standards and getting service to our standards from the contract staff.

I will be flying home Friday afternoon for a much needed visit with the family. I was right that this stay would be easier than Denver. However, I am looking forward to seeing ma chère and the Things, sleep in my bed and be in my space for a bit. We have things going on all weekend, but would love to fit more visits in. Call ma chère. It will be a long weekend so I will get to see the boys off for their first day of school on Monday before my flight out.

There is nothing new on the placement front. That is not to say nothing is happening, just nothing tangible. There remains a lot of "in a couple weeks" stories. It is frustrating, to be sure.

As you can imagine, I am getting more and more anxious. I will get paid for this assignment, eventually. The pay is not near enough to float all our bills and nothing near what I should be making in a permanent placement. The bogeymen are no longer hiding under the bed. I am expecting them to come knocking on the door in a few more weeks. I continue to be confident it will all work out for the best. Head up, shoulders back, sure steps forward.

I will try to get back in the routine of smaller posts. I will change to posting in the morning. It seems to be when I am most creative. I have had a bunch of ideas, but by day's end I'm too tired to do anything about it. Ciao for now.

New York, New York

The weekend came and went with little ado. The Ps had an overnight guest for part of the weekend. He was an HM in for a day of interviewing. He was a rather nice gentleman and brought plenty of skills to the position.

After dropping the candidate off at Long Island Mc Arthur Airport, I had the rest of Sunday off. I worked 6 days last week in order to bank a day for a long weekend at home in a few weeks. It was a much needed and deserved day off. I drove up the north coast of Long Island to land's end on the North Fork, a town called Orient. The geography and wildlife is like a very flat Wisconsin.

We traveled into NYC yesterday. One reason was to let me see the city apartment. It gives me a better understanding of what is out there and what needs to be done to keep that property up to standards.

It was interesting being back in a city again. It has been 6 weeks since I was with any population size of note. It took awhile to dampen all the sensory input. I spend a couple of hours wandering down 5th Avenue over to Times Square and back up 6th Avenue to Central Park. I seem to take that same walk every time I am in NYC. Unfortunately, the trip only served to remind me how much there really is to do downtown, uptown, etc.

Dark Blue

Things have been busy the past few days. The first two days were long. Yesterday was hectic with vendors and coordinating with my principals. Nothing I can't handle, mind you. It just takes a few days to get my engines back up to full steam; a 4 week vacation might do that to most people.

My principals are wonderful people. Mr & Mrs P are a lovely couple. Out of respect for them, this will be the last mention of them. As I stated before, privacy is not an option.

I am continuing my work on documenting the rhythm of the house to identify what can and should be done, when and how often. The work tends towards detailed analytics and the struggle is to not get to pedantic. (I LOVE THAT WORD!) There are also a bunch of projects that need to be captured, prioritized and executed. Put into that a wholesome mix of daily graces, admin & culinary work and, voilà, it is a full time job. Oh, and don't forget my 2 newest New Best Friends, the dogs. Not exactly gentlemen, but they are rather cute. It's like having Things 2 & 3 around all day.

On The Road Again

The title really is cliché, I know. In my defense, however, it is 5:15 AM and I am already at the airport. I am a mixture of nerves and confidence. Sometimes, I am just barely brave enough to pull these things off. The moments of self-doubt burble up.
"Psst, why don't you crawl back in bed? Or, better yet, back under your rock?"
"Go away, I'm up, I might as well see this through."

I, shamelessly, sent a text to ma chère this morning when I got up.
CM: "Today is the beginning of our next great adventure. I am very glad you are my best and closest traveling companion. I love you."
MC: "Let us begin. I love you. Go with God. Don't forget your choes. Perhaps you should take a bath towel as well!"

Thanks, Mr. Adams, you can still make me laugh until I cry. Next stop is New York. Where did I put that Guide?

I'm On My Way

I am being given the opportunity to validate my decision to change careers. Arrangements have been made for a temporary placement with a principal out east. I will primarily be assisting the Lady-of-the-House in creating the House Manager's Book for their 2 properties plus the standard "other duties as assigned". I will be out there for a few weeks, until a permanent House Manager is available. My flight leaves early Monday morning. I should arrive at the house mid-afternoon.

I usually try very hard to not build expectations. I have found that a blank slate is not easily disappointed. I have just the barest of information regarding the principals; probably less than they know about me. However, seeing that I have never even talked to them, I am impressed with their trust and conviction in Starkey. A total stranger will be serving their guests and living under their roof starting Monday afternoon.

Of course, the location means more time away from ma chère and the Things. This trip should be easier, though. To begin with, we have had significant practice in the recent past. In addition, it will be possible for me to head for home on the occasional weekend if need be. Back to school will be rough, but we will stay on top of it. Besides, after spending the last 4 weeks with Dad, the Things might appreciate a break from the old ogre.

You Can Do It

Thoughts for self-motivation:

• I know this is the right direction.


• I am doing this, now, because this is what I am supposed to be doing.


• I must trust the process. Patience will prevail.


• Stay focused on the original goal. (A little voice asks, "What was the original goal?" Hmm, I seem to have forgotten to write that one down. Point taken, you must document your goals. "As you think, so you create." It only works if you've written it down somewhere.)

I once had the opportunity to hear Frank Lloyd Wright's son speak a few years ago. He gave an insightful quote that he credited to his father that I will paraphrase, "Worry about the details, everything else will follow." It is such a stretch for me to even imagine how to do that; however, it remains a goal. I tend towards the general; I paint in broad strokes. I will continue to believe that the details of this endeavor will work themselves out.

Yes, I am trying just as hard to convince you as myself. There is no sin in doubting your faith, only in losing it.

Walking On Broken Glass

The placement saga continues. I mentioned to some that there was an excellent position in the pipe. Unfortunately, it did not work out. I am waiting for news on a temporary position in the field that should last until the middle or end of September. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. It will be good to get out and use my training and experience. Hopefully, something will turn around before the end of the assignment.

19th Nervous Breakdown

I must admit it is strange being in summer break with my children. It is not something you expect to do at 40. As is typical with children, it has to be on their terms. We've had a nice time just hanging out around each other. Today it was hanging out at the lake.
Based on Mrs. M's recommendation, I am reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad. The premise is that most of us do not appreciate how money really works. The premise is sound; the application of the premise is a paradigm shift. I've been reading alternative thought processes for a few years. As with a lot of philosophies, you have to take from it what you can apply. I will see how much of the ideas I can apply to myself, my family and my ideas of raising children.
There are a couple of placement opportunities in the works. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. The first opportunity is, by all descriptions, what I got into this industry for: hands-on, process improvement, relationships, travel, mature freedom. The second looks like a wonderful opportunity to help a couple with their entertainment and business needs. Both provide an excellent way to get into the industry and exciting location opportunities.
I have some other work that is keeping me busy. A few new accounts at GBL Software and another idea of my own. Next week, I will have to return to reality and start the temporary position job hunt. I will start in Milwaukee; I can expand from there if things get dire.
I will miss working on the deck up north in cargo shorts & Merrell's with a Blue Moon. Working on a tan and swimming with the kids, Sirius Alt Nation 21 as the soundtrack for the summer and hacking for 8-10 hours a day. Someone is going to show up with the reality train, any minute now. In the meantime, "Bartender, another Blue Moon."

The Back Porch

I mentioned in a previous post the "old" friends. Some have contacted me with no small amount of resentment (and a giggle and a smile). I meant the term as the highest form of compliment. These are friends that have traveled through space and time with me. They are "old" the way that favorite sweatshirt or pair of jeans are "old". I have waged wars and marched countless miles with these friends. I've already mentioned "forward" versus "straight" as a way for me to find new "old" friends.
Some may know that my music collection is modest by some measures. I had the pleasure of introducing a new "old" friend to an old story from Celestial Navigations. It is called "Back Porch". If you still need to understand our motivation, this story captures it in some of the most beautiful imagery I can imagine.

It seems like another person lived that life a great many years ago from now

If you are wondering what summers are like for ma chère and the Things, ma chère posted the pictures from our summer, so far. The Things are quite the ski bums in the summer even Thing 3 gets into it. Enjoy the show.

The Soul Train

I read a book where the main character believed it took extra time for her soul to catch up to her when she traveled long distances by plane. I will give Neal Stephenson though it could have been William Gibson. I took that to heart when I read it. I have traveled just enough to appreciate the "I am not quite all here, yet" feeling I get when first arriving at a destination. Sometimes the transition is quick, but the longer trips seem to take just a bit longer. I think my soul must have hitch-hiked/back-packed back from Denver. Today, I finally started to feel whole again. I can only hope it enjoyed the trip.
Ma chère's brother, his wife and family and ma chère's sister, her husband and family are all up north this weekend. Despite the trip we took to Twilight last night leaving us all a bit foggy today, we worked on the cottage today for a few hours. We broke for the day around 3 due mostly to a general lack of enthusiasm. More cold weather (60-65) and rain. How's a guy supposed to get a tan?!

On the road and hanging by a song

One of the things that will challenge ma chère and me is location. I know some of you have asked. At this point, we will be keeping our options open. To be honest, though, the prospects in Milwaukee, or Wisconsin even, are rather remote. Everything depends on where the principals are living or, in the case of multiple residences, home-based. Most of the people I would be working for are on the coasts or down south.
Dear friends of ours made a move a few years ago. They determined what they as a family like to do in their free time; they found a location; then, they found employment. We might not be able to go quite that far. Right principal, right compensation, right location. That's where we stood at the beginning; it is where we still stand.
I must admit, though, that I fell in love with Colorado in general and Denver specifically. I went to Denver not really considering the "where" of where I was going. I was, obviously, focused on the "what" I was going there to do. What I found, however, is a city with a young fresh feel to it. Denver struck me as confident. It seems much less worried about its image than I am used to from mid-western cities. We will have to see where this new exposure leads us.

I'm Just a Bill, Yes, I'm Only a Bill

I am spending the better part of the day getting our accounts back in order. Of course, I have taken plenty of ADD breaks in the form of MySpace, YouTube and MTV2.
I have Ms. L to thank for reintroducing me to the joys of music videos. Just what a recovering music junkie needs, more input! At least this is cheaper than buying more CDs.
I found a sweet live version of "Fake Plastic Trees" that I set on replay until the Things complained "Dad, change the song!" I am not sure what it is about that song that makes me so happy and melancholy at the same time. Rumor has a new Radiohead out this year. It will be interesting to see how they change their sound this time around.
Anyway, the bills are no longer on the hill; they are the hill. I moved us into this career change with a bit of a backup, but we are moving through the liquid and credit assets rather quickly. Believe ALL the advice about keeping 4-6 months salary in backup. The transition can be done with less, but it only adds to the stress. Instead of looking at an opportunity with objectivity, you might find yourself worrying whether it is the last offer for a few weeks and getting hungry. My advice, stick to your guns; it has to feel right, and then worry about the compensation.
On that note, the placement team is looking at some opportunities. Nothing will likely move this week, but things should start moving next week.

What's In A Line

I woke up this morning thinking about more lines from Training. Here, for my fellow students are some of our regulars.

• "I said FRENCH!!"
  
• "Get in the ~!@#@$ VAN!"
  
• "Are you still (Morman), (allergic to soy), (lactose intolerant), (a nanny)?"
  
• "Get my chews, my chirt, and my chihuahua..."
  
• "China tomorrow."
  
• "I will cut you."
  
• "FAH!"
  
• The sodomized poodle sound.
  
• Master the moment
  
• "It is what it is."
  
• "Yuummm"..."Uhnhua"..."Whorrah"
  
• Ms. EP
  

Please feel free to chime in with others. I am sure there's a bunch more.

Did It In A Minute

With formal training behind, it is now time to focus on a new position in my new career. The school provides lifetime placement services for its graduates. I intend to continue to "trust the process", at least for the time being. I have been asked for my feelings on a number of placement situations since early in June. Unfortunately, little has come about. I will be calling in Monday afternoon to see what has developed.
Money is getting tighter. I could pick up some IT contract work, if push comes to shove. Though, I really do want to leave that behind. I just might start looking for part-time work up north to cover some of our more pressing expenses. I would just as soon tend bar than do Q&A work.
It is good to be home. It will be a bit of a transition from attached single life back to family life. Add to that the silly vernacular that developed over the 8 weeks with the team (Yes, I have my chews, my chirt and my chinchilla in the chower. No, I will not cut you. Yes, she is still allergic to soy. Anyone up for "FAH"?) and fitting in gets to be a bit of a challenge. The littlest things bring on the giggles and I suddenly find that I am laughing all by myself. Nothing like absolutely no context for an inside joke to break a mood.
With today's weather in Milwaukee, I really miss Denver's low humidity. However, it does feel good to gulp lung-full after lung-full of heavy oxygen.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

These "fishbowl" experiences always stretch me so thin. It started at Deer Park Lodge when I was in college where 30 or so college students worked, ate, drank, slept at the resort for 11 weeks. Think "Dirty Dancing" without Patrick Swayze. We called it the "fishbowl". The guests would move through our lives, but we were so wrapped up in the NOW that it really mattered little.
The 8 weeks at Starkey were similar. We were so pushed and pulled by the day to day, it was easy to loose focus on what was really important. Suddenly, the parlor being out of hand-towels was cause for argument. Suddenly, someone sitting on a breakfast stool out of the way of the culinary team was disruptive just because they were there. Suddenly, the fact that the flags were not brought in before 7 p.m. was an example of someone's inability to be effective.
However, as was pointed out to us by our instructors, we persevered as a team. We, mostly, stuck together. Our differences annoying to each of us the way way your kid brother bugs you. You know you love him, but do always have to like him?
At the same time I felt myself getting "thinner". As with my DPL days, I built myself a temporary support team here. I found kindred spirits; people that despite geography and age spoke the same language with the same sarcasm and wit. Like me, these spirits drive forward, never straight. Old friends will know why. I found great joy here meeting friends that I have been chasing around the sun for many years. It is a blessing to finally catch up to them, even for a few weeks.
I miss ma chère and my boys. There are 24 grueling and cruel hours left until I have them in my arms. I am so so home-sick.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Congratulations and best wishes to the Starkey Certified Household Manager class #92!
Press-tige!

Congratulations and best wishes to the Starkey Certified Personal Assistant class #2!
Second to None!

Shower the People

The Friday formal went off without too much ado. It's good to have that pressure off of us. I spent Saturday working on my book and attending the last of our Wine & Spirits classes. This week was the digestifs Cognac, Armagnac, Calvados, Scotch (highland and an Islay), ruby port, tawny port and a cream sherry. It's amazing I made it back downstairs to keep working on my book. I can tell you, though, while the Calvados was a very yummy first, the Lophraig Scotch was brilliant and the Armagnac fantastic. It took great self-control to only sip at the glasses.
As you might have seen in my previous posts, the process here includes a rather in-depth autobiographical look at who you are, where you came from and what your influences are. My attitude is I have to be very honest with myself and my employer if I am to justify entering their home on a daily basis. Some of the exercises were exhausting at both the spiritual and emotional level. The result of all this work was, for me, a 20 page examination of my past, experience, values and style and standards of work.
The Placement Team then creates a Curriculum Vitae for us based on this work plus several interviews with us, our existing resumes and job experience.
I got to see the draft of my CV last Monday. I was surprised to see excerpts from the transcripts taken during the school's check of my references. These are added to the end of the CV.
Here is the hard part. I was stunned. I still find myself crying at the memory of the responses. I cannot explain the wash of emotion I felt at seeing the wonderful words used by these people. I can only say that I am humbled and blessed to be surrounded by such generosity and love. Thank you all.

Peace Train

It's been a long 3 weeks. The amount of information coming our way can be a bit overwhelming. That combined with the dynamic of 8-10 people spending 12-14 hours a day just about every day makes for a good amount of tension. What is interesting is the group was warned about "Week 5". Right around week 5 the students begin to feel overwhelmed with the information and frustrated with life "in the fishbowl". It can make for some less than pretty moments.

Between our HM Book project and making up for the Memorial Day and Independence Day holidays, there has not been much down time. I worked most of last weekend (18-20 hours) on my Book. We have the last of our wine tasting seminars tomorrow afternoon and then back to the Book. It looks to be another work weekend. However, we are down to the last two weeks. That's almost hard to believe.

I am just about finished with my HM Book. This is where we create a Principal and spouse/partner, their family, children pets, their house, their wardrobe, linens, china, etc. We create their service style and standards. We staff the house, create task sheets for cleaning areas of the house. Create a formal dinner event to honor an international guest. It is a long project with tons of research and data entry. The International Guest insert is due on Monday. The Carmichael's (my principals) will be hosting Richard Carmichael of Carmichael, Baron of Carmichael and Lady Carmichael for a formal dinner. The Book is due July 2, but I plan on being finished but for one or two details this weekend.

We served the first of two formal dinners last night. The class was divided into 2 teams for the events the kitchen staff ("Back of the House") and the serving staff ("Front of the House"). The Back of the House is responsible for preparing the food served. Since these are 8 course meals, there is a lot of preparation involved. Four classmates plus 2 chefs worked in the hot kitchen all day. However, the food was magnificent. The Front of the House polished silver, set the table and made sure the entertaining spaces were presentable for guests. The work is certainly less physically strenuous; however, the table and house are presented to exacting standards. The Principal's guests and the Principal left very satisfied. Tonight we get to do it all over again for 10 new guests plus our hosts.

We have a late start this morning, 10 a.m. instead of 7:30. Time to hit the showers, though, show time is only 8 hours away.

This just in...

A number of articles have run in the past few days with regard to "butlering". Let us be clear that what I am training for is a Household Manager. The distinction is important. A House Manager provides a service. Butlering is a style of service. The perception is that "Jeeves", or worse "Alfred", is the only way to manage a house. (Both, by the way, were Gentleman's Gentlemen or Valets, not really Butlers.)

In any case, the Wall Street Journal has an interesting article. You might actually recognize someone in the pictures. The Independent features another article sighting the apparent shortage of Butlers.

It was another long week, but I am finally finished with the kitchen rotation. Now it is time to kick the studying into high gear. I am doing fine on the tests and quizzes , so far. Now I have to focus on my HM Book. I am VERY far behind the rest of the class on this part. My goal is to have it finished before we have our Formal Dinners.

The Formal Dinners are our opportunity to practice entertainment service with real guests in the Mansion. Local or regional VIPs are invited by the Principal. The pictures in the WSJ show us practicing serving at the table. We will also have to work on everything from floral arrangements, seating charts, 4 different styles of serving (French, Russian, English & American Plated), formal table setting (though we had a lot of practice the week before last with all the media here), door greeting and announcement protocols, cocktail service, after-dinner coffee service, etc. And, that is just the "front of the house" stuff. The list for the "back of the house" is equally as long.

The Principal and a close associate have separate evenings to invite their guests to these events. For our class, the events will be in 3 weeks. We have a lot to get done in 3 weeks.

You had a bad day

It was a looong day. The pressure of getting things done is starting to build. Little surprises keep cropping up; keeping me on my toes. On top of that, Mr. Challenge, who has been pushing all the students buttons, finally broke through my defenses and we had a small yelling match in the kitchen.

Values, Standards & Morals

Here is what I spent the weekend working on. This is the first draft of what will become my Personal Statement.

In today’s advertising environment, phrases like “providing service over and above expectations”, “generosity” and “consideration” have become watered down. While I believe in these concepts, I believe further that only through example can these values be measured.

At Quigley Preparatory Seminary, I was taught that Christians in every walk of life are called to demonstrate love, generosity and consideration. Everything we do is to be done for the glory of God, including our work. I believe that honest work should be performed honestly. This means that all honest work can be a Christian vocation or calling. We do our jobs as Christians when we do our jobs as effectively and honestly as possible.

At seminary, I also understood that my vocation was not to the priesthood. I felt called to a different fatherhood. This decision was tested when we moved away from Chicago after my freshman year. I was given the opportunity to choose to live in the dormitory full-time or move to Milwaukee with my family. I did not return to Quigley.

I place great value in my family. I am thankful for the conscious effort my parents took to raise their children differently than they were raised. I take pride in providing a nurturing environment to my wife and children. In this environment, they are given the tools to materialize their visions; praise for their successes and sincere support for their failures. I cherish my time with Amy and the boys. After my faith, these are God’s greatest gifts to me.

That Was The Week That Was

I knew it would happen. Things would get hectic and the newest habits would be the first to be sacrificed. I will not make promises to do better. However, I might try to make smaller posts more frequently.

Last week was equal parts recovery from week 1, super busy in different ways and then a long weekend. A crew from NBC was on site with us most of Monday. CNBC and the Today show are doing articles about our school. First, we were filmed presenting our "Mirror" exercise. This is a self-evaluation done at the beginning and end of the course. We are challenged to measure our abilities against what we feel is the ideal. Afterwards, we had a crash course on setting a formal dining table for 12. After Sment Christmases and 8 years in dining rooms, this was not too much of a stretch for me.

On Tuesday, we began our Culinary courses. During the 3 hours, we were introduced to kitchen safety, hygiene and cleanliness. My zones so far have all been in the kitchen. It will be almost 3 straight weeks of dishes, sous chef and chef work. I will be very glad when this Friday rolls around and I will be finished with the kitchen zones. I cannot remember ever looking forward to dusting and vacuuming in this way. It is not that I mind working in the kitchen. Point of fact, I love it. However, it adds about 6 hours onto my day. By comparison, the non-kitchen zones are 2-3 hours extra per day. After 8 hours in class, the 2 hours of dinner prep, preparation and clean-up pretty much take the wind from my sails. I am not complaining, but I am looking forward to being in a different part of the mansion next week.

On Wednesday, we began our Wine & Spirits courses. During the 5 hours, we were introduced to the course layout (once per week for 3 hours). The instructor walked us through aperitifs: cocktails, sherries and other before dinner drinks. We also spent time in the kitchen mixing cocktails or trying aperitifs. We sampled a Manhattan, Lillet, a traditional Martini, Pernod, Margarita and a few others. No one really liked the Pernod, it is fortunate it is one of my favorite summer drinks. It went very well with dinner.

On Thursday, the camera man from NBC was back for some additional footage for the NBC spot. Otherwise, we were busy with in-class instruction and time to prepare our HM Books due at the end of June.

On Friday, the Wall Street Journal was in the mansion. WSJ is also doing an article on Starkey. Apparently Starkey is mentioned rather favorably and at some length (the entire second chapter) in an upcoming book about service. We spent the better part of the day with a photographer for the WSJ. The article is being written by the same man that wrote the book.

Friday night, Mr. B, another student and I went out. There's a punk bar around the corner. Johnny Cash was playing when we walked in. We took our beer to a booth, plugged the predominately country music jukebox with $5 and kicked back.

The weekend was quiet. Mr. B was out all day Saturday and most of the day Sunday. I went for a long walk on Saturday morning (6 miles) and then worked on my HM Book for the rest of the day. On Sunday, I walked the 2.5 miles to Christ Lutheran Center, a WELS mission in Denver. The 45 minute service was not quite enough rest for the 2.5 mile walk back though the 2 tacos asada y coca did provide the energy for the stroll home. Man, I love authentic Mexican food!

On Monday, we hung low. Mr. B and I changed our bedding, cleaned up the room and mostly just hung out. We have a big assignment due in the morning, so we focused on that when we weren't resting.

That's all from Denver. Have a great week.

Good help is hard to find

To answer the question, "There's a market for that, Scott?" Here is an interesting article that ran in today's Chicago Tribune.

It takes every kind of people

Of course, one of the most interesting aspects of the training is the other people in the class. There are 9 students in the class for all eight weeks. Five of the students are living on site, the other three are Denver natives and commute daily. The class relationship dynamics started taking shape around Thursday. Everyone was feeling the stress of the upcoming test. Yet, everyone rallied in their own way to be supportive of the other members. There was no "reality TV"-esque tear-down of people in the group. Thankfully, we seem to be well rounded both emotionally and in experience and no one has snapped, yet.

I was considering introducing you to the class. However, it will be difficult. Our ability to stay behind the scenes is of great value to our potential employers. I hope you can appreciate my respecting their privacy.

There is no need to mess that up for them.

One down and three-point six

I have been remiss in posting. The end of the week was very busy. The first week focused on learning the system we will be implementing for our employers. It is similar to a project management process or requirements process. There is a system specific language, iteritive steps, documentation, the works. For the final, we pretty much had to replicate it all. There were 10 questions that required nearly 80 responses and one extra credit question worth the same as one regular question. I missed a page when I first turned it in. Our instructor was kind enough to ask me if I intended to skip half the exam. I demurred and finished it, quickly. Through his benevolence, I received a 105%. A good start to the class.

The stretch of being away started a bit earlier than I expected. Ma chère is having a bit of a rough time with the separation. Truth be told, so am I. The good news is we are very blessed with a fantastic "village" of friends and family back home. Thank you all so much for guiding and supporting her.

One week down, seven to go.

Keep On Doing

It was a late night last night. One of our major projects for the training is creating a Household Managers manual for an estate. It is a detailed description of the people and environment of the estate. It includes the residents, guests, staff, buildings, rooms, decor, inventory, etc. For the project, we make it all up. However, we are encouraged to create our dream job in the process. The motto is, "As you think, so you create."

Last night, I created the 2 home owners (principals), their children, the principals' careers, their home. We will continue to add to the project service standards & styles, staff, a floor plan everything, really, that goes into a high-end estate. All this adds depth of character to our near billionaire couple.

The hardest part was coming up with the names Mr. James Carmichael and Mrs. Diane Carmichael. When I was finished, I googled James. Turns out there really was one in the US and one in England. Go figure.

Oh, oh big ol' jet airliner

I apparently left out the part where I am leaving town for training. Looking back over the past 14 days of posts, it might be obvious. But here is the lowdown. I flew out last night to Denver to attend Certification in Household Management training for 8 weeks. Classes are held in an actual late 19th century mansion. The 13,000 square feet include the school and school and placement administration. Rooms are also provided for the students. (That actually covers last night's post. Sorry, I was too tired to do it after the flight.)

The mansion is of fair size, comparable to Milwaukee's Pabst Mansion, though completely different in design. My first surprise was a roommate. I really came here with no expectations, so it was not an unwelcome surprise. Mr. B is a very nice man. As the roommate, I am sure he will be a recurring character. Dinner was provided on arrival; and, there was informal chatting among the resident students.

Class started today at 7:30. No problem, the time change and nervous jitters left me wide awake at 5:30 anyway. Continental breakfast and hit the classroom in the basement. The morning was filled with weekly assignments (zone assignments), an introduction to the code of ethics, an introduction to the staff and a presentation by the school founder. After lunch, we were introduced to the management system and the software. Some homework was assigned and the impression that yesterday was not too soon to start memorizing the important points of the training. After dinner, a number of us met in the classroom to work through the homework and start building the structure for our major projects.

That was the day. I am beat, so I will add more later. I am glad to see people peaking in. Drop a comment or email, I would be glad to hear from you.

So long, and thanks for all the fish

From the time I was hired, there was a significant lack of work for me to do. I was told it would be a couple of months before I was engaged in a project. Eventually, I was commissioned to perform a task that was outside of my previous experience and never mentioned during my interviews. By all accounts, the role was relatively undefined, the deliverables were variable and the team was practically all new staff and shifting almost weekly. I was frustrated with the lack of clarity and expectations for my role, the culture of bureaucracy and the difficulty of getting any decision actually made. That frustration was outwardly expressed in my attitude and communications. I struggled; frankly, I failed at it miserably. The fact is I was outside of my experience; however, there is no excuse. I am better than that.

After several months of sincere dedication by me and my managers to meet my team’s and client’s expectations, it was indicated I still needed to work on my communication styles and interpersonal skills. My sincerity and passion is interpreted as over-bearing. My desire to share information and articulation is interpreted as arrogance, "know-it-all" mentality and “has to be right”. That is not to say I cannot be an arrogant snob, I can…with the best. The expectation was for me to be less detailed, less technical and less articulate in my communications with the internal client (though in a twist of irony I was accused of using slang in an unprofessional manner, go figure).

(I read somewhere that self-confidence can be interpreted as arrogance through the perceiver's self-doubt. "I am as arrogant as you are over-whelmed by your self-doubt.")

I am not prepared to make these changes. I admit that I should vary my "social style" based on audience; however, the concept of "dumbing down" a message is insulting to all parties. If it is not my role to dictate “what” and "how", the decision makers must have a reasonable amount of information in order to move the project forward. Unfortunately, the organization’s strong suit is not decision making.

My experience with the firm has been that experienced new hires are only valued if they can mimic the current processes. These lucky few do great in the firm. They are easy to work with and can get things done. However, the culture makes it so experienced hires must be "fixed" before they can really be trusted to do their job. The "this is the way WE do it" mentality is stifling. It is demoralizing and debilitating for new hires. Any organization that feels that 5 years is an ok acclimation period for experienced hires, needs to re-evaluate why they are bringing in experienced workers. The pay is substandard and the benefits are being trimmed to make the organization more competitive. This does not strike me as “doing the right thing”.

Yesterday was my last day. I could go on. Indeed, I did on my exit interview. I felt my criticism was delivered rationally and sincerely. I also felt my comments were not a surprise. However, I have already let it go.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

It's Time To Pay The Fiddler

I am trying to get the stray-ends of my non-work life in order before I leave. As a volunteer, I spend my time between 3 committees at church and our home owners' association. In the past few months, the first week of the month gets crazy. Somehow, all 4 groups meet within 7 days of each other. Since I am the Chair or Secretary on 3 of them, that means copious notes, transcription to the computer and distribution of the minutes. I feel like a copy-editor by the end of the week.

Our HOA is currently self-managed. That means the Board is responsible for the collection of fees, securing of contractors for maintenance, lawn care, snow removal, etc. and all the other duties that come from managing a property. Our biggest challenge are the home owners that do not pay their fees. We spend countless hours every month printing statements, talking to lawyers and being hard-nosed jerks. Then, to top it off, we get treated like it is our fault they missed the last 18 months of payments.

This week was classic for that. I spent around 8 hours preparing statements for 3 accounts that own the majority of our uncollected fees plus 3 hours on the phone and email with the lawyer. Tuesday, one of their kids is running around the neighborhood calling my wife a c@@p-head. Nothing like neighborly love, I always say!

We're S-H-O-PP-I-N-G

We went shopping last night. It is amazing how I can have a closet full of clothing and all but my black dress belt is appropriate for the training. I need classic navy blue blazer, slacks (khaki & black), dress shirts (white broad cloth, not oxford, not button down collar), conservative ties, golf shirts (white, minimal marking), black vest, black tie and shoes (dress black, soft soled).

I really like French cuffs on my shirts. I have not worn them in a while. They are not terribly practical in most IT roles. I am not too keen on spending hours at a keyboard with more fabric under my wrists. In any case, ma chère thought they might not be appropriate. We compromised and picked up 2 of each.

I also took a bit of indulgence. I picked up a pair of Allen-Edmonds dress shoes. Having spent a number of years in Wisconsin, it is hard to not know who they are. I can tell you, though, there is no discount for the locals! The discontinued sales shoes are still expensive. Man, though, they are very-very comfortable. I need a brown pair of shoes, too. I wonder what I can find for say $10.00!

I must say how pleased we are with Men's Warehouse. Without fail, I can go in and get the appropriate amount of service and find what I need. The staff is friendly and knowledgeable.

Thank goodness ma chère can shift into "efficiency" mode when shopping. We hit 6 stores in 3 hours and came out with everything but the brown shoes. I love that woman!

Admit It

This is my Admissions Essay.

My sister and I were raised to place great value on respect, conduct and etiquette. This was founded in parts on my mother's French upbringing and my father's military background. Experience has also taught me that there is no substitute for sincerity and consideration in all matters. I strive to provide a respectful quality of genuine service provided by deliberate, kind and patient hand. My wife and I continue that tradition with our children.

I do believe the standard cliché "good help is hard to find". However, this is only half the problem. To provide good customer service, the provider must have an understanding of what is to be expected. If I enter a distinguished restaurant, I expect gracious service, impeccable surroundings and a meal created from the best ingredients. If these expectations are met, I leave with a good feeling about the place.

My goal for this training is to learn what it is to provide high-quality service and to learn insights into the finer details. My background imparts me with the aptitude for excellent service. I wish to learn what is to be expected so that I can anticipate those needs and surpass them when possible.

Caught in the Breakdown

Our desktop computer took a dive a few weeks back. The fact that it is still not fixed was an obvious symptom of my malaise over IT. It used to be that a sick computer in our house was made better in a matter of hours. I still have 3 "beige boxes" in the basement for spare parts. Lately, however, the last thing I wanted to do after a frustrating day at work was crack into another puzzle. Networks, VPN, firewalls, VoIP (Vonage), Wireless Access, etc. all started to get on my nerve. (Yes, just one nerve. The rest are reserved for the Things.)

So, Saturday was the "Prince Spaghetti Day" of fixing the computer. Picking around in the computer led me to believe one of my RAID-0 hard-drives was corrupt. I spent a few hours cruising around the city trying to find an inexpensive pair of hard-drives and settled on getting just on big one. The RAID-0 is not really getting used much and at this point I cannot afford $300 on hard-drives.

I get home, peel back the cover and get to work replacing the hard-drive. Experience taught me years ago to NEVER put things back together until AFTER the software is installed. Good thing I listened, it wasn't the hard-drive. It wasn't the video card, nor the RAM.

I really wanted to take our laptop to school. But, here I am 7 days away from my last pay-check (please, dear Lord, for just a few weeks) looking at replacing a processor or a mother board. AARGG.

Final answer, the laptop stays and the IT guy that has not been away from a keyboard for more than 2 days in the past 15 years will have to deal with addiction withdrawal.

The Name of the Rose

The other morning, ma chère épouse and I wrote what I called our "boogeyman list". The list of issues that scare us the most during my transition. Here is the list in no particular order:

• Spouse Time
• Family Time
• Health Insurance (This is probably the scariest monster under the bed!)
  
• Mortgage
• Bills (Utilities, Student Loans, Auto Loan, Credit Cards)
  
• School (The Things hafta learn.)
• Church
• Spouse Time
  
• Loss of Salary
• Increase of Debt (Career Training is not cheap!)
• Did I mention Spouse Time?
  

The list is not comprehensive, not by a long shot. My idea was that if we at least name our worries, we have a better chance of communicating what is keeping us awake at night.

The World Turning Circles Running 'round My Brain

My last day is next Friday. It is going to be a nerve-wracking week. There is very little to transition, which means a few meetings, a few goodbyes and the rest of the week just marking time. One of my motivators to leave IT is the marking of time. There are few things as frustrating as the "hurry up and wait". It is alright for an hour or even a day. Unfortunately, I have endured much longer stretches of waiting than hurrying over the years.

Remains of the Day

The career has changed since "Remains of the Day" or "Gosford Park". The staff can either "live in" or "live out" and the hours are generally 8-6. But the duties are still the same: manage the staff, housekeeping & maintenance, event planning, service for meals and entertainment, personal care, food and cellar stock, transportation (some chauffeuring) and travel when necessary. The duties depend on the employer. If they have multiple facilities, the estate manager is responsible for the staff in each house, boat, plane, etc.

Since I am starting out relatively fresh, I would expect to start with a small family with a relatively small staff of 1 or 2 plus me. Some resorts and hotels are also providing private service for their high-end guests. The pay is less there, but the tips seem to more than make up for it. I have read about a few household managers running staffs of 25 in 2 residences of 10,000 to 30,000 square feet. Most of these guys, though, are retired military senior stewards or officers.

Next up, training...

Time For A Cool Change

I was chatting with old college friend last fall that suggested that I look into the hospitality industry. I worked in a similar capacity in college. I worked at a full-service resort during summers and at hotels and restaurants during the school year. I always enjoyed the work, particularly the one-on-one with the guests.

Then, ma chère épouse and I were at a New Year's party in D.C. this year and met a woman who provides private service as a temporary. She flies in and manages the house, nannies for the children, event planning, whatever the employer needs. She provides private service for a couple of weeks and then moves on. I thought, "I can do this." This provided some insight into the industry.

I did not think about it much until mid-March when I stumbled upon a butler's blog. After spending time with Dean, I ended up spending a few days researching modern day butlers.

The Reasons for Quitins Are Gettin Bigger Each Day

5 years ago, I began to worry about retirement from information technology (IT). I did not notice many "long-toothed" IT people around. The few around are so removed from the current technology, they might as well be a newbie (no disrespect intended).

I started in "computers" because it was a hobby. It was fun swapping out pc cards and trying new shareware. The BBSs (yes, I know, I am dating myself) were relatively free from flamers. Spam only came in a can. Internet access was limited to universities and a few internet service providers. Any one remember when it was a big deal when Compuserve & Prodigy began providing limited access to gopher, usenet and ftp?

After 13 years in an information technology role, I am leaving the industry. This was not an easy decision. I enjoy IT. Sometimes it can be like Christmas; new gadgets and widgets come around almost everyday. What started as a hobby, turned into a career; now it is a job. I know my job is not who I am, it is what I do. Still, I expect more of myself.